Gold (Yuzuru Hanyu)

19. Two weeks of frustration

And so my dreaded two weeks of confusion and frustration began.

Event no 1

Stefan arrived on Friday.
I loved that guy, honestly. I met him a few times last year, when he came to visit Mila, his girlfriend of 3 years.
He spoke absolutely zero English, so our communications in the shared space, was down to pantomime.
He was really funny though, always making us laugh, and he genuinely loved Mila. I could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at her in adoration.

Which leads me to the main reason of my sadness: Yuzuru Hanyu himself.

I was forced to watch cuteness overload every minute of my existence, and was constantly reminded of exactly what I was missing.

I missed him like one would miss air in outer space.

On the morning of her birthday, Monday to be exact, I crawled out of my room, finding Mila and Stefan breathing each others air, making me absolutely miserable. I asked her:

-Mila, how do you survive living without him? I haven't seen or heard Yuzuru in four days and I feel like I'm dying. How do you live on only seeing each other a few times a year?-

Mila was looking at me in shock, her jaw dropped, I guess I was being a bit blunt.

-Why you looking at me like that?- I cried.

She shook her head in order to pull herself together.

-No, nothing.... It's just... You never spoke to me about that, you denied ever liking him.-

-Of course I like him. OH MY GOD, this hurts so much!- I cried in agony.

Stefan asked Mila something in their language, hugging her, and kissing her temple, while she spoke to him.

-I hate you both! I'm so jealous of you!- I said in my angst.

-Are you two together?- Asked Mila, but I think she was translating for Stefan, who was looking at me.

A sad look took over my face.
-No.- I answered, admitting defeat.

Stefan understood that, and shared his sympathies.

-We almost kissed before his flight, but some girls were filming us, and I had to be the responsible one, and tell him.- I expressed my anger for myself.

-Why did you have to tell him?- Asked Mila trying to hide the shock of my sudden confessions.-

-You know he's kind of famous, and a video of him kissing some not so Japanese girl, would probably cause him some trouble back at home.- I said in annoyance of my situation.

The fact that we almost kissed was killing me. ALMOST! I would literally dream that moment. Like one of those dreams where you want to scream on top of your lungs, and you open your mouth, but nothing comes out, and you naturally start to freak out; I was having those kind of nightmares about our almost kiss. 

I wished he was still in the street parallel to mine; then I could run up to him and end my torture. 

If only I kissed him when I had the chance. And I had so many of them. The regrets were eating me alive. 

And now he was miles away, in a different time zone, and probably different mind set; where I couldn't talk to him, let alone kiss him. 

Stefan poked Mila's cheek demanding translations.

-Ughhh!!! I miss him so much!!!- I said, aggressively clawing a pillow, burying my face into it, and maybe screaming a bit into it.

-Are you on your period.- asked Milla.