First Order Princess - KyloXreader

AWOL

Vic's POV

After a week of sitting in my room, only letting Hux in and the meal droid, I up and left the ship and the First order to "study" abroad for a year.

 I went AWOL.

 I traveled the galaxy, learning the ways of the force, learning of the Sith and their regime. I kept tabs on Kylo, my father, and the First Order. I stayed in contact with Hux. He took care of my porg now. I wasn't considered a traitor to the Order, so I was allowed to come and go from base to base to resupply etc. 

I traveled and trained for a whole year and a half. Exploring the galaxy had its benefits and fun. I went to big and small parties, meeting either amazing or scum of the galaxy people. I even revisited playing some instruments.

But the galaxy was dark. Occasionally I would stumble upon cults or trafficking, which I would try my best to free those trapped by it. It was a horrible place. It made me want to return to the First Order and send out people to fix the horrendous crimes committed. But that meant I would have to face Kylo.

But from time to time, I would reach into his mind. He felt alone. He wanted someone to talk to, but without the call to the light. I could see his regrets, I could feel his pain. I would feel bad for him, but I would replace the pity with anger. 

When I didn't, I would comfort him when. Sometimes I would enter his night terrors and make them dreams. His nightmares were horrific. Completely forgetting about how he wronged me, I would fill them with happy memories of us sparring, eating together, small things I knew he enjoyed. At times, I wanted to go back just to tell him he was okay.

But going back meant that I would have to be under the constant watch of my father.

While I was gone, I realized that I was always ordered to do things by him. I never really got a say in what I was to do. He dictated my every move. 

I was his pawn.

The circumstance that finally made me return to the First Order was a direct order from my father. We had not spoken in the whole time I was gone. But I watched him and he watched me.

The same went for Kylo.

The day after I received the order, I was back home.

(A/N: For those who don't know, AWOL is military jargon for Absent Without Leave [without permission from a higher office or leaving without telling anyone])