Reconnected (Tokio Hotel FanFic)

Ch 18- Automatisch (Automatic)

(Original)

So automatisch/ Du bist wie'ne Maschine/ Dein Herz schlägt/ Nicht für mich/ So automatisch/ Berühren mich deine Hände/ Spür alles nur nicht dich/ So automatisch/ Deine Stimme elektrisch/ Wo bist du wenn sie spricht/ So automatisch/ Wie du sagst/ Ich bin dir wichtig/ Wer programmiert dich/ Wenn du lachst/ Lachst du nicht/ Wenn du weinst/ Weinst du nicht/ Wenn du fühlst/ Fühlst du nichts/ Weil du ohne liebe bist

(English)

You're automatic/ And your heart's like an engine/ I die with every beat/ You're automatic/ And your voice is electric/ Why do I still believe/ It's automatic/ Every word in your letter/ A lie that makes me bleed/ It's automatic/ When you say things get better/ But they never/ There's no real/ love in you/ Why do I keep lovin' you- Tokio Hotel- Automatisch

Ch 18

January 8, 2011

It was the distress in her voice that choked me, cut me. There wasn't even a second hesitation before I redialed the number that only seconds ago flashed across my screen.

"Sephora, you-"

"What happened?" I cut her off with my heart already accelerating. A ringing vibrated in my ears from the music just behind the walls drowning out her voice. I could only catch a few words. "What happened?" I asked again, louder. Yet I was answered with a beep from my phone. In the light the dim screen glinted with low battery signal before decaying to a dull black.

A scream just ripped from me, piercing the already loud air, crowed with noise that some considered music. I couldn't help it, for concern and confusion coursed through me in an unending stream. There was no way I could stop. It literally wasn't possible. Even without an intake of air, my mouth stayed agape allowing my helpless shrieks to echo across my mind.

The obsolete electronic tumbled from my grip to the ground. I watched as if it was in slow motion, yet not able to move my paralyzed body. In the worst times, no one could hear me. In the worst times, I could reach for no one. In the worst times, I was alone, frozen and petrified.

Tears threatened to overflow, burning my eyes. A few slipped passed my closed eyelids creating a trail down the side of my nose before I wiped them away as my body finally released itself from the immobilized state.

Distinguishing a door to my left, my vision steadily became blurry as the river of tears fell more consistently. Was there a point in holding them back? No. Some point between now and then, I'd cry. In front of millions or few, I didn't care, but I needed a shoulder to lean on just for a moment.

Twisting the door knob, I braced myself for the crowd on the other side. And just as I would've thought, the stares-of those who weren't drunk enough not to care- bored into my skin. I felt enclosed even as the cliques broke apart to allow me an unnecessary path. With my eyes focused down, I tried to wipe away the waters streaks; leaving marks of markup smears across the back of my hands.

Arms encircled me in a protective stance. "Everything is going to be ok," he whispered. His voice carcasses down the length of my neck as I shivered.

"You don't even ask what's wrong. You just go straight to the automatic response. Wow. That's low," I hissed, "You couldn't think of anything less cliché?" I pulled away slightly.

"Are you alright?" he asked. His breath swept under my nose. Drunken. Of course, what do you expect?

"Bill, let me go." I strained to release his hold on me, for his hold only to become tighter; confining me to the alcoholic air around him. "Bill... Please..."I begged.

A flash of regret flashed his eyes before he took his hands away. I bolted from his grasp. My eyes scanned the room for Adileigh. But those eyes I connected with weren't hers.

I parted the sea of people to follow Tom pulling Adileigh off the dance floor. He made no move to comfort me or ask questions, but in his eyes reflected a worrisome look. A frown deepened on his face as the silence held; he concentrated, fixing a puzzle in his head of his options.

"We need to borrow your phone," I whispered, not even loud enough to be her over the music as I was afraid my voice would die from the blowout I had on the other side of the door; the soreness decided to set in. This was directed at Adileigh, although I received no response. Her eyes stayed down.

"Let go back on the dance floor," she suggested yelling with a glint in her eye. Her arm tugged at Tom. Yet his eyes stayed fixed on mine, unable to move. "Tom," she whined.

"We need to go home," I said more convincingly with a louder tone trying to convey my point to her distracted ears. "Now."

Tom stayed quiet as Adileigh looked up. Anger simmered in her eyes. "You can go home." Her voice lashed at my heart. "Tour is over. Why do you need to be here anymore?"

Fresh tears pricked in the corner of my eyes. "Just let me borrow your phone, please." My voice croaked and I couldn't stop the helplessness lacing my voice. "You need to listen. It isn't a choice. You are coming home."

"Who ever said I had to listen to you? No one told me to come home. I'll stay here as long as I'd like and you can do what you please. But Tom and I are going to the dance floor." She smirked at me pulling him away. But not before a cold metal device slid into one of my hands.

"Tom..." I doubt he could hear me, but I continued anyway, "Thank you." Delusion might have caught me off guard; however, I could've sworn I saw a nod of his head. If it was for the beat of the music or my statement, I'd never find out as I ran toward the exiting door to escape the party of people who couldn't have given a damn about me or the situation that was thrown and smothered in my face.

Within minutes I waved down a taxi. "The nearest airport please," I told the driver as calmly as I could. Still holding Tom's phone, I glanced down. Unlocking the phone with a swipe, I pulled up a dial pad. Signal caught in a flash to hear a dial tone before a ring signaled the connection of my call.

The quiet was different than where I had been moments before, but it favored in my thoughts to let them freely flow without walls concealed by music unheard of.

"Mrs. DePice?" I asked even though I knew she answered.

"Sephora!" A reliving sigh left her lips, yet there wasn't a moment to spare before she broached the subject at hand. "Your mom, she- she was in a- a car accident."

My throat closed. I couldn't respond. A cotton ball lined my mouth. No matter how many times I swallowed I couldn't make a sound. Although I nodded, I know she couldn't see it. The brief pause set time for us the let a new fall of yearns to make their mark upon our faces. They weren't sobs, but loud enough to know emotion did cross both of our paths. "I don't know w-what happened..."

"I'm on my way home. Just make sure she's safe."

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Ok, so obviously it wasn't my best chapter, but it was something. I actually wanted it to be slightly longer; however, I don't have much time. I'm wasting valuable sleep (that is much needed) to finish this for you guys. It's becoming harder to stay up later as I've been getting little sleep and school started today :P

I hope you enjoyed. And I'm trying my hardest to write in the spare time I have (which isn't a lot). Bare with me. I truly am sorry if these get sloppy. There's no time to edit either. Once I can balance everything accordingly writing will become much easier.

Until next time 

-Midnightriter