Ch 23- Nach Dir Kommt Nicht (There'll be Nothing After You)

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(Original)

Nach Dir kommt nichts/ Unsern ersten Tag verfluch ich/ Nach Dir kommt nichts/ Alles Neue macht mich fertig/ Nach Dir kommt nichts, ich will das nicht/ Du bist und warst und wirst nie wieder alles sein/ Ich hasse dich

(English Translation)

There'll be nothing after you/ And I'm cursing our first day/ There'll be nothing after you/ And everything new is getting me down/ There'll be nothing after you/ I don't want that/You are, you were and will never be again everything/ I hate you- Tokio Hotel- Nach Dir Kommt Nicht

Ch 23

February 21, 2011

Maybe, just maybe, if someone called me. If someone tried to throw the harsh truth at me, maybe I would've turned around. But no one did. I was a void of empty emotionless space as everyone else watched me run from the problems that plagued my world.

The scenery passed in a blur. I tore down the winding roads. Forest of trees clouded my vision as I couldn't see strait. There was no point in hiding the growing pain, undeniable in presence that tensed my body. Thoughts whirled in a web of undefined memories haunting me.

Throwing the steering wheel to the right, to the left, my foot stayed hard to the pedal. My eyes stayed focused ahead. Staring.

The sign of Case Western welcomed me at the end of the back road. I glanced at the mirror plastering on a face smile, but I knew anyone could see right through me. My eyes were bright red with salty tears that had fallen. I lost color in my skin leaving a ghostly pale tone, accented further by my crazed hair framing my face. Brokenness was tangible across my facial features.

Taking a pit stop at attendance, I grabbed my new ID I was supposed to pick up at the begging if the school year, my class schedule and the room number, which was exactly the same as the year before.

Pulling into my usual dorm parking space, I braced myself. I raked my hand through my hair. And after adding a new layer of makeup, I looked semi-presentable from the reflection in the rearview mirror. With a step outside into the chilled air, a few friendly waves greeted me.

I not-so-gracefully lugged my belongings out from the trunk to drag it inside the building standing to far away for my liking at the moment. The luggage landed on the ground with a thud in the elevator as I swiped my ID to enter floor four.

Four-hundred eighty-three was to my right, my room, and four-hundred eighty-four to my left, Adileigh's room. I knocked. Sounds weird, knocking on your own door, but I'd rather not walk into another mess I could avoid. With no answer from the other side, I turned the key.

The two beds remained the same from the last time I lived here. Mine was perfectly made, while the other, well let’s just say, it looked like a rat's nest. Posters hung on the small wall space on the other side of the room. But my side was barren, just like home, just how I left it only the summer before.

A girl sat at the desk between the beds with a coffee in front of her and a magazine in her hands. She dressed in sweat pants and the usual black jacket that was obviously three sizes to big as it dripped off her twig skinny arms. Her short styled hair framed her face with a curtain. Yet the rectangular framed glasses she wore still poked between the silk she hid behind. "Hey Elle," I approached as not to take her of guard.

"Well, you’re here earlier than I expected." She didn't break her gaze from the tabloid she intently read.

"I'm sorry. Were you expecting someone else?"

"No. No, not at all." I shot her a quizzical look, which she didn't catch as she still hadn't moved her eye from the article that grabbed her attention before I interrupted. "I just didn't expect you to come back to college until next year. You know, after all four quarters were over."

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