Unforgettable

41.

"I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride"

***

It's been two weeks since New Years, and I opened the bar again a week ago, Harry has upgraded to performing two nights a week and he's attracting quite the crowd these days.

Crowds of people literally turn up just to watch him, and I'm so proud he's getting the recognition he deserves for how talented he is.

It's been a strange adjustment, our new dynamic now, how it's so different and yet exactly the same but we're both just enjoying it.

Harry is being extremely patient, and I sometimes wonder how there's so much maturity in such a young guy, well I mean he isn't incredibly young but compared to most men I've met his age, he's an extremely old soul in a young body.

I know the age thing bothers me way more than it does him, I dont think he even notices it, but I don't think you realise until you get old how much your life perspective changes, how things can change even between 22 to 26, sometimes it's not about age being a number it's about life experience.

I guess two of my inner nagging insecurities is I'll either take away experiences from him, or I'll just be exactly that, an experience.

However I'm in far too deep to turn back now, that letter sealed any fate I had left, it's just figuring out how to navigate whatever path we go down now.

If there's forks in it at some point, hopefully we choose the same road.

He hasn't tried pushing things further with us, sexually than what we've already done, I think he's waiting for me to take the lead with that and I'm grateful for it, he seems beside himself with contentment that we just get to touch each other at all.

It's like waking up to a brand new adventure every day, I'm finding so many new things about him and myself I didn't know before, things that I find attractive or alluring about him that I never have with anyone else.

I know Harry has his own set of worries, I can see it on his face when he thinks I'm not paying attention, but I'm just waiting until he's ready to talk to me about it, I think we are just in a stage of figuring each other out in this new situation for now.

Finn still hasn't forgiven us, but he's coming around, he constantly calls Harry pussy lips McGee and says how he traumatised him.

Well now you know how I feel about your lengthy detailed descriptions about your one night stands Finn.

I've been trying to learn more about hetero interaction, not that it's overly different, people are just people but there are major contrasts being with a man compared to a woman and figuratively speaking, I've only just hit puberty with it, got a bit to go before I graduate to knowing what I'm fucking doing.

I honestly thought I would be having more of a mental breakdown over all of this, but I just can't seem to find myself feeling anything except intrigued, especially with Harry - I think if it were anyone else, I'd be in a ball in the corner but everything just feels right with him, he makes it so comfortable and so natural it's hard to remind myself sometimes he's the first man I've really ever looked at in that way.

It's odd that Saturday's are becoming my favourite day of the week now, mostly because we get Sunday off together so Saturday nights after the bar are usually just us watching a movie before bed and being lazy the next day.

I'm laying in Harrys bed, which is something else that's started, some nights we stay in here, just to get use out of the bed I suppose, but I enjoy staying in here.