Roger: You Play A Prank On Him

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You pound on the bathroom door for what feels like the hundredth time, sighing in anger as you shiver and pull up your towel around you. While you love that your boyfriend loves you enough to bring you on tour, sharing a hotel bathroom with him is harder than you could have ever imagined. Consider, for example, this morning's events: You are standing freezing in a towel because not two minutes after you got out of the shower, Roger ran in shouting about an "emergency", shooed you out, and has been hogging the bathroom to style his hair ever since. You are meant to leave to meet the band for breakfast 15 minutes from now. What a bloody diva.

"Roger, we can coexist you know!!!" you shout into the bathroom, ignoring the muffled giggles you are able to hear through the wall of your room that is connected to John's hotel room.

"Sorry, love, I need a full 360 degree radius worth of arm room to make this magnificent mane of mine happen," he calls back cheekily. Before you can mutter the expletives coming to your mind about his lack of logical reasoning, the door swing opens and you brush past him now desperate to dry your mop of hair and sweep on at least a quick layer of mascara. I've had enough of this. If he doesn't cut it out....I will have to....Well, I will come up with something to make him regret it, you think to yourself mischievously.

Your thoughts are interrupted as Freddie bangs on your hotel door. With your hair barely dried and eyes looking tired as ever, you sigh and make your way towards it.

"Good morning beautiful darling! And to you too, Roger." Freddie greets, extra chipper this morning, you internally (and maybe a bit externally) groan not prepared to hide your frustration from the world.

Being one of the closest people to you in life, seeing as he introduced you and Roger, Freddie is quick to catch on to your mood. He raises an eyebrow but you shake your head, waving him off "tell you later, Fred." He nods knowingly and squeezes your shoulder gently.

"Hurry up, Roger. You're making us all late!" Freddie commands. You look back and roll your eyes pointedly at Roger who is fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror once again. Freddie can't hide his smirk as the three of you exit the room. He whispers something about how you'll definitely need a mimosa with breakfast, you can't help but chuckle. Reluctantly, you take Roger's hand as the rest of the group assembles and the driver pulls up.

*Two Hours Later, Following Breakfast*

Roger has gone to rehearsal with the rest of the band, but as usual Freddie runs late lingering behind to see what is going on with you. You hear the beginning groans of another song starting up and shrug, knowing Freddie will get to the soundcheck eventually.

"So then, do tell me, why are you angry with Roger?" Freddie inquires, smiling up at you.

"Freddie...do we have to..." you start, only to be cut off with him holding a hand up and rolling his eyes.

"Fine, fine, darling. I'm not going to beg you, I only thought I could perhaps get involved on the subject of revenge, I am the creative genius of the band you know..." he saunters off, apparently ready to practice now. You roll your eyes as he walks away, and then scan the stage from your backstage seat. Roger's hair does look kind of good...damn it! you think to yourself, striving to not get distracted by your boyfriend's undeniable attractiveness. Revenge is an interesting thought, how do we get him where it hurts the most? You don't want to actually hurt Roger, perhaps that's the wrong word choice, but knowing his temper you have to make the revenge count. And so begins the planning of the perfect prank.

*Back at the Hotel, 3 hours before Queen goes on stage*

Your body shakes with giggles as you and Brian sit in his room, mixing up a substance that you will soon funnel into Roger's beloved shampoo bottle--yes he packs his own; hotel shampoo is nowhere near his standards. His words, not yours.

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