Accidental Affection

4 - Anguish Rebirthed

Draco sits quietly in the study, head in hands. He had hoped all this was over. He had already spent years of emotional turmoil, guilt, battles raging within himself. The nightmares he's endured since his active involvement with the death eaters, the Dark Lord, and self-destruction.

Thinking back, he had always thought it the right thing, seeing his parents and their involvement with it all. He had thought it was the only way. Segregation of pure-bloods and mudbloods. He shudders at the thought of that word, mudblood. How he had used it loosely. Such a harsh and despicable word. His head shakes slightly. He never realized the depth of it all, until he had become active, just to show his father that he could. To please his father, which had shown as much pride in him as a dog would a flea.

He hadn't realized it, until he was too deep in, too scared to turn back. He had seen first hand what they did to wizards and witches that tried backing out. Now he was stuck, drowning in the blackness of his soul, falling deeper in the pit of destruction.

"Draco!" Goyle's voice snaps Draco out of his prison of thoughts, although he was grateful for the break from his own inner turmoil, he grumbled slightly because he knew why he was here. "Draco did you hear what I said? You okay?"

"Headache," Malfoy lied. He'd be as good as dead if he let on to his truest feelings, even if it were to a childhood friend.

"Too bad, but I was saying your aunt wants us to get that mudblood. Tonight"

Draco's ears perked as his head whipped up toward Goyle. "Tonight?"

Goyle nodded stupidly, his double chin wiggling with each movement.

At this Draco stood suddenly, causing his blood to rush to his brain, now his head really was spinning. "Wha... we can't! Not tonight!" He hadn't been able to mentally prepare himself for this. They had just been assigned this mission just two days ago.

"Why not?" Goyle asks stupidly.

"Uh, because," he racks his brain, trying to pick out an excuse suitable enough to use. "Because we have no clue where she is!" Draco throws his hands up in a manner that makes it seem like a no-brainer.

"Oh," Goyle smiles, "That's no problem!" Draco eyes his partner, Goyle continues, "My cousin is a third year at Hogwarts."

Draco lifts an eyebrow and a white hand palm-side up as if saying 'so?'

Goyle grins that goofy grin that only Goyle can muster, "So, she told me that that filthy mudblood got a job there teaching! Can you believe that! Now they have mudbloods teaching! Of course, it would be her! Insufferable know-it-all"

"Goyle, we can't go to Hogwarts, asking wizards in the hall 'hey, we've come to kidnap Professor Granger, think you could point us into the right direction?'"

"No, but if a said cousin just happened to accidentally find the teacher records along with personal information, such as oh, say an address..." Goyle holds out a torn off piece of parchment, upon it written in bold ink, 35 Chestnut Ave.

Draco intertwines his fingers, resting them upon his forehead, his thumbs rub his temples. This was it, it was happening for real, and it was happening tonight, and he had no choice but to be involved. His skin crawled with disgust within himself. "Give me a moment to prepare, alone."

"Prepare, prepare for what?"

"I don't know, she's a bright witch, and my wand skills aren't as sharp as they once were, being locked up in this blasted house."

"It's not like she can overpower us. There's two of us..."

"DAMN IT GOYLE! GET OUT OF HERE WOULD YA?! BEFORE I USE YOU AS A TARGET TO SHARPEN MY USE OF THE CRUCIATUS CURSE!" Draco stares straight into Goyle's eyes.

"Alright, alright!" Goyle mumbles as he exits the room. "I'll just see what your lame-brained house-elves have to snack on."

Thankful for the peace, Draco walks to the deep mahogany desk, upon it a small mirror. He glances into it, disgusted at his reflection. Grabbing ahold of it, he lifts it closer to his face. Deep black rings adorn his eyes, a trophy of the last two sleepless nights due to the thoughts of what was to happen tonight. With a loud scream, he launches the mirror to the wall on the other side, shattering it.

The doors open again, Draco whirls around, eyes ablaze, "Dammit G..." he stops short realizing that it was not Goyle who had entered, but his father.

"Draco," his father begins, "Goyle said you will be going tonight for that muggle girl." Draco stays silent, trying to hide his feelings beyond his glass eyes, feeling as if anyone took the time to look, his emotions would be displayed behind a layer of glass, such as a muggle viewing spot for animals, zoo's, he recalled the word from his muggle studies.

"I know you will follow through and make us proud."

Draco remained silent, nodding slightly avoiding eye contact.

This was it, this was the death of his inner thoughts and battle within himself, and the rebirth of anguish. With that, he strolls out of the study in search of Goyle.