The Blood Order

II

I walk back to the bathroom after checking the time and see a light redness taking over the left side of my face. Muttering under my breath I grab my heavy concealer and foundation and paint on my face that everyone enjoys looking at. No one knows why I wear so much makeup, but they know I am good at it. I flick my wrist and the eyeliner forms a perfect wing on the side of my eye. The smoky eye that I chose today looks as good as it can on swollen skin, and I put the dark lipstick on making sure to outline my lips in a perfect way. Everything must be perfect; I have to be perfect. 

Clicking my tongue once I exit the bathroom and grab the server book with my keys off the moldy counter. The cold snow greets me as the biting cold nips the end of my nose and while I lock my door my neighbor yells from her porch. 

"Hey purple eyes!" I hear her older voice ring over the not existent fence I wish I could build. 

I don't speak and turn to her showing her she has my attention. The old woman that seems to live in night gowns and warm sweaters with the complementary sweats looks me over once and then continues her overly happy vibe.

Knowing the drill and keeps talking, "I got your mail! After work tonight, you can come get it and have a hot meal." Her chattering keeps going and a slight warmth takes over my heart as I listen to her. She most likely stole my mail from the box, so she would have a reason to invite me over. She seems to be just as lonely as me and I understand her want for others. 

I nod my head and she gives me a smile going back into her house to get warm leaving me to watch my breath float through the air in a small white cloud. 

My car isn't any warmer as I drive through town the blanket from the backseat draped over my lap. A slight ache comes from my abdomen, but I don't have time to worry about it, rent is due in two days. 

Parking my car in the farthest park of the lot I try to motivate myself to seem happier, so I can appeal to the guests, but today it just doesn't seem to be happening. A slight curse to myself finally encourages me to exit the car and walk into Shade one of the more popular, but older, restaurants in the town. 

I barely get into the door when my boss walks up to me with a frown, "Hey Sully." 

I hate that nickname. 

"Yes?" I whisper, and he lowers his frown more seeming to have a frog caught in his throat. 

"You know we love you working here Sully, and you are such a hard worker, but we need to cut back on employees. Shade is being bought out by another restaurant and the employees are being combined and well... we have too many. Sorry Hun, can we uh... have the apron?" Jack, my ex-boss, mumbles out and I do not show any emotional response which bothers him more than he is willing to say. Why am I not kicking and screaming? Why am I not fighting to keep my job? I don't know. 

I unwrap the apron from around my waist and hand it to him with the serving book. I also slip off the uniform shirt and stand in a white tank top handing that to him as well. He tries to apologize, but I turn away and walk back out to my car unlocking it and sitting down in the driver's seat. I should be crying right now. I should be angry. 

I go to start my car and a weird noise, almost a screech, exits the vehicle instead and the whole thing dies. All at once. With me freezing inside. Getting out while popping the hood, I move to the front of the vehicle and see the lovely fire coming from the old engine. I guess that's shot. 

Not having any money to call a tow truck or even a cab ride home, I grab the blanket in the back seat of my car and start to walk the fifteen-minute drive home. I let the cold air comfort me as I walk in the snow, my slacks offering little to no protection from the ice filled walk. 

The cold moves over my skin in a light wave forcing some sort of reaction to happen on my skin. The bumps that bubble on my skin from the cold show that I am still human, still me. Even when I am not acting like me. 

I used to be the preppy girl on the cheer team with everything that daddy could buy me. Nothing was stopping me from being on top. Nothing was stopping me from being the best. I was the cheer captain and dated the quarterback. My grades were perfect. Every... single... Friday... a party. 

Now... now I am not who I once was. At one point in high school it was as if I spoke every single minute because I liked the sound of my own damn voice. Now I barely know what to say or even if I should say anything. 

College hasn't made it any better. The only reason I am attending is because my father forced me to on a cheer scholarship that covered everything. He was so proud of me, so proud. 

Then one day I was walking to class and my coach approached me telling me about the wonderful, hotter, richer, and more appealing Jenny. She informed me that I wasn't what she was looking for anymore and dropped me from the team and revoked my scholarship lying to college saying that I was a rude bitch and undeserving of such an honor. Then that led to me losing my academic scholarship as well. Since I wasn't a part of the team teachers were out to get me and found reasons that I was a terrible academic. 

All at once I had to foot the bill of college, no place to live, and a dad that was ashamed of his daughter. I was no longer worth his time and money, so he kicked me off everything and called me a disgrace from the family. 

No longer was I Sultana Wild, the rich and beautiful, successful daughter. I was the black sheep, and everyone treated me like it. My boyfriend broke up with me soon after and started to date Jenny since he also went to the uni on a football scholarship. Soon after my father started to teach me lessons that he believed he should have taught me sooner and continually informs me that I should be grateful that he even stands in my presence. 

Now I am Sultana. The quiet, shy, underweight, lonely woman that hides away in her overpriced shit hole and contains her emotions in such a way no one can possibly reach the old me.