A Melwood Story

/chapter five/

A Melwood Story
Chapter 5

Melissa

I've decided to make a doctors appointment since I'm keeping the baby. Whether Blake wants to or not.

It's October 29th. We're sitting in the dining room part of our apartment, eating dinner.

"Melissa, I've been..." Blake starts, but stops, seeming to be thinking otherwise of starting this specific conversation.
"Huh?" I say. "Been what?"
"Something is off with us. Okay? I don't know if it's because of the baby or what."
"It is because of the baby. Ever since you found out, there's been unidentified silence about the situation."
"You decided to carry it, when you clearly don't want it, so why?"

I take a deep breath. "Because I can't live knowing that I could've been a mother and I know that I can do this in the end. Be a mother and work."
"I understand that, but it would be mine too, you didn't ask me—"
"Sure, okay. I could've asked you. Is that the problem here?"
"Yes," he says, setting down his fork. "I don't want to be a father. I'm not ready."
I look past him at the kitchen behind him. I can't believe him right now.

"You could've told me," I tell him.
"You wouldn't have listened. Once you make up your mind, that's it."
"I would have at least listened."
He shakes his head. "No, you wouldn't have. We both know that."
"No we don't."

I stand up and go to the kitchen to get some water.

"You don't have to be a father, I can do this alone," I tell him from the kitchen.
He turns and looks at me. "How?"
"How what?"
"How could you?"
"Doesn't matter to you, now does it."
"Melissa..." Blake whispers.

"I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Okay? I'm having this baby whether you want to be a father or not."
He looks back at his dinner and doesn't say another word.

—the next day—

I wake up to a sharp pain shooting through my leg. I realize I've hit it on the table that's set in-front of the couch, where I have been sleeping the past couple weeks.

I lay there for a little while until the pain starts fading away, then I get out from underneath the blankets.

It's 7 a.m. and my appointment is at 10 a.m. Blake won't be up when I leave anyways.

I quietly get myself ready for the day, moving around silently, not wanting to wake Blake.

If he wants a divorce, I don't want him changing his mind about the baby because I don't want
to only see the child a couple days every one or two weeks.

When 9:30 a.m. rolls around, I'm very ready to leave.

"Hi, Melissa," the ultrasound tech says once I arrive at the doctors.
"Hi," I say, sitting down on the table.
She sets everything up and I relax a little more.

After a couple minutes, she says, "it looks like you're around twelve weeks along."
I stare at the screen, that's a decently big baby for just twelve weeks.

"Is that a normal size for a twelve week old baby?" I ask.
The tech leans closer to the screen. "It looks like it might be twins, but it's a bit too early to tell right now."
Okay. Wow. Twins. I was thinking even one baby would be a lot to handle by myself. I'm not sure how I'll manage twins.

After the appointment, I walk around downtown Vancouver, hoping to clear my mind a little and not stress over the possibility of having twins.

I see a woman by herself with three kids across the street. I faintly wonder if that's what I'll look like with two kids by myself.

When I get home, I'm in for a much bigger shock. Blake isn't there, but there is a note from him on the counter.

It reads: I'm so sorry Melissa. You want to keep the baby, I understand, but I don't want to be involved as a parent. Maybe someday, just not now. I'm going back to Los Angeles for a couple weeks and I don't know when I'll be back for my stuff, but don't call or text me please. Be well, Melissa. I'll always love you.

I wonder how long he's been planning this 'leave' of his. Probably for awhile. I rarely go in the same room as him when I don't have to.

I sit on the couch and take a few deep breaths. Tears start falling down my face almost instantly. I can't do this. Is being a mother worth my marriage?