A Melwood Story

/chapter thirty/

A Melwood Story
Chapter 30

3 and a half months after chapter 29

Melissa

I knew something bad was bound to happen. Everything was going fine, he was acting nice and fatherly and now he's gone.

I woke up this morning at 4 a.m. because Kaleb was crying which ended up causing Sofia to cry.

I got up, suspecting Chris to be awake too, but he wasn't even there. I assumed he went to help stop the crying, so I waited five minutes and the crying still didn't stop.

Holding both kids in my arms, I checked the entire house. He was nowhere to be found.

"What are you looking for, mommy?" Nya asks when I pass her bedroom on the way back to my bedroom since she likes to sleep with her door open.
Not wanting to worry her, that she might never see her dad again, I lie. "Nothing, sweetheart. Go back to sleep."
She nods. "Okay. Good night," she says, then goes back into her room.

I put Sofia back in her bed, but keep Kaleb with me. If he starts crying again, I don't want him waking up any of the other kids.

I fall back asleep around 5 a.m. Which really isn't that great because I wake up again at 6:30 a.m to kids running down the hall to my room.

"Mommy! Daddy!" I hear Max calling as he runs down the hall. "Nya and Lulu poured water on me!"
I sigh, glancing over just to remember that Chris is gone for who knows how long. He was supposed to leave in a few weeks. Not last night. What made him change his mind?

Max enters the bedroom, his top half soaking wet.
"Oh, Max," I say.
Nya and Lulu come in soon after him. "Funny, right, mommy?" Lulu asks.
I shake my head. "Not funny, Lu."
Lulu frowns.
"It's Saturday," I remind them. "No school. No need to pour water on your brother."

"Where's daddy?" Nya asks, eyeing the empty space in the bed beside me.
"He left early for a meeting," I tell her.

Maybe he'll be back in time for dinner. Maybe he did just leave for a meeting. I need to stay calm and collected for my kids. Not until I know he's gone, will I tell them anything.

"He didn't tell us he was leaving yesterday," Nya says.
"It just popped up, Ny. He didn't know until after you went to bed," I tell her.

She sits on the bed next to me. I touch her hair lightly. Reassuringly.
"I want to hug him good morning," Nya says.
"I know, sweetheart."

Max and Lulu sit down on my other side and we sit there for at least ten minutes. In silence.

And after all this with Chris, I still have my loving, kind children to take care of and be strong for. That's what I need to focus on now.

It's noon. I'm sitting at the table with all five of my children when my phone buzzes with an text message.

"Who is it, mommy?" Lulu asks.
"I don't know yet, Lulu," I tell her.

I pick up the phone and see it's a message from Chris. I glance around at the kids quickly, keeping my cool, before I open it.

Melissa. It reads, I am truly sorry for leaving this morning. It wasn't an easy decision, but I knew that if I didn't leave sooner than I planned, I wouldn't leave at all and I would get worse. I don't know when I'll be back. Weeks. Months. I don't know. I wish you and the kids the best of the best. You deserve the world, Mel. You're so strong and brave I don't know what I did to deserve you. I hope you will stay well. Love, Chris.

I inhale a big breath. I don't believe it. He's gone. He's really gone. I'm doing this alone for who knows how long. He said he could be gone for weeks or for months and in that case maybe years.

"Mommy," Nya says. "What's wrong?"
I look up at four pairs of staring eyes.
"Nothing, don't worry. Mommy has it in under control, okay?" I say.
They all nod. "Okay."

—two days later—

It's now Monday. First day of school as a single parent of five children. I don't know how I am going to manage.

"Nya," I say as I enter her bedroom. "Good morning."
"Good morning," she groans.

I sit on the edge of her bed. "Listen."
She opens her eyes wide, stretching her arms. "I'm listening," she says.
"I need you," I say, pointing at her chest. "To be the best listener this morning. Mommy has to get three kids off to school and feed and dress five, so I need you to be your brothers and sisters example, okay?"
"Okay, I will. For you."
"Thank you, Nya."

I stand and move on to the next bedroom. Max's.

"Good morning, Maxwell James," I say as I switch in his light in his bedroom.
I hear a muffled groan. "Morning."
"Time to get up and get dressed. It's Monday."
"I thought it was Sunday," he says. "Are you sure it's not Sunday?"
"I'm positive," I say. "Now get out of bed mister."
"Fine."

Next room is Lulu's, but she's probably already awake. She usually is.

"Good morning, Eloise Juliana," I say when I open her bedroom door.
"Morning, mommy," she says from her position on the floor, drawing on a large piece of paper.
"Be downstairs in five minutes, okay?"
She nods. "Okay."

When I open Sofia's bedroom door, I see her bright blue eyes staring back at me.
I smile. "Good morning, Sofia Marie. How did you sleep without your brother to wake you?"
She makes a little noise that I always assume is a yes.
I pick her up out of her crib. "Good."

In five minutes, four out of five kids are sitting patiently at the table awaiting their breakfast.

"When is daddy coming home?" It's Max that asks this morning, yesterday it was Lulu.
"I wish I knew, Max," I say. "If I did, I would tell you."
"Why don't you know?" Nya asks.
I smile up at her as I set a bowl of cereal in front of her. "I wish I knew."

After getting all the kids in the car, on the way to school, I relax for a second. This is what it's going to be like almost every morning without Chris here with me. I'm doing this by myself now. I need to except it sooner than later. He's gone. I'm doing this alone. Alone.

—
a/n

""The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.""
—Oscar Wilde