The North Star (B. Barnes & S. Rogers)

Chapter Ten

READERS - WHILST THIS CHAPTER COULD HAVE GONE TO SMUT I CHOSE NOT TO GO INTO IT, INSTEAD, IT'S JUST HINTED AT. FOR NOW, I WILL KEEP IT THAT WAY, IF THERE IS A POINT IN THIS THAT FEELS LIKE IT GOES THERE THEN I WILL WORK SOMETHING OUT. 

Loki paces outside of North's door. He's not allowed in. And he's spoken to Steve about it, Steve told him what she told him, she doesn't want to see anyone, for Loki, knowing that North doesn't want to see him, hurts a little, Thor too, but for Loki, it's something worse. His twin sister doesn't want him around. Doesn't want to see him. He presses his forehead to the door and sighs.

[Eirlys?] he asks, reaching out to her. But he can't feel her anymore. He can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing. Part of him knows deep down that she's shut it down. He turns and walks away. She's not the only one that can give him access.

.....................

Steve sighs and then picks up the tablet at his side, with a few motions with his finger he lifts the sanction on Loki, allowing him access to his sister's apartment.

"There," he comments looking to Loki stood in front of him. "But I didn't do it...." he sets it aside. Loki nods and then walks away.

.....................

North's curled up on the floor of the living room floor, in front of the window so she can look out over the grounds when Loki walks in. His heart breaks at the sight. He helps her upright against the window behind her. She sniffles and looks away from him. Loki brushes her hair back. He can't even begin to imagine how hard all of this is for her.

"Can I sit with you?" he asks her, she nods a little and he sits at her side taking a deep breath. She glances to him, he strokes her arm and gives her a reassuring smile.

"I don't want to be here" she admits. "It's...I don't know but I don't like it here"

"Thor wanted to take you home" Loki admits looking down at his hands.

"I have no home anymore" she counters.

"Asgard is your home" he argues.

"I was a child when I left" she looks to him. "Asgard is not my home" she pulls her knees to her chest and rests her chin on the top.

"Then where was home?" he asks her, somehow already knowing the answer to his question.

"There was this....." she starts and then shakes her head. "Person" she adds. "With Hydra"

"Bucky" he offers, she nods and then falls silent. Loki strokes her arm and then threads his fingers with hers. "Tell me" he whispers, pushing her to answer.

"It's difficult...." she admits. "Being here"

"Because of him?" he asks her, she sniffles and nods.

"He was all I had...He felt like home every time we were....." she cocks her head. "Together" she admits, Loki strokes her hair and pulls her closer to him. "And now he's here, but he found someone else, he's with someone else......" she whispers clutching to his shirt. Loki kisses her head and closes his eyes, his heart aching for her.

...........

Bucky lingers outside of North's door listening to her and Loki talking inside. His fingernails dig into his palm as he clenches his fists, because she had lied to him. Because it didn't mean nothing. And he knows it didn't. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

............

Undetermined time ago: The Winter Soldier murmurs in Russian as North brushes her fingers through his hair, his hands wander up the flesh of her calf, nose nuzzling into her thigh, her dress is bunched up around her waist as he touches her. Seeking comfort in her warmth. The last mission had been a tough one. A lot of agents that went with him didn't come back. He was shot multiple times, she's already taken care of that, patched him up, made sure he ate, showered....always looking after him. He presses his lips to her skin and sighs softly before he then moves up to his knees, eye level with her, her fingers fall from his hair, one clutches to the metal of his arm as her other presses into his chest over his heart, her eyes never leaving his as he ducks his head and kisses her neck, her head falls back, eyes closing, she just feels the warmth of him hovering in front of her, all around her. He pushes as her dress a little, clutching the material in his hand, but he's careful, he knows they won't replace it for her. His lips drift slightly, rising to her jaw. He's naked, still slightly damp from the shower. His nudity doesn't both either of them, they're both used to the sight, comfortable with one another. More than anyone else. He tugs on the skirt of her dress, intent clear before he's pulling it up and over her head. He watches as she pushes herself up onto the bed and settles onto her knees. He clenches his jaw and then shakes his head as he climbs up behind her. He's not having it though.

"No" he argues grabbing her waist and trying to get her to turn onto her back. He doesn't like it this way, he doesn't understand why but he just doesn't like it, it feels dirty and wrong She slaps at his hand and glares at him, before setting herself back on all fours. He huffs through his nose and this time is more insistent, he flips her onto her back and growls to stop her from moving. "Like this," he tells her, she frowns up at him, confused, he settles over her, careful to keep his entire weight off of her, he kisses her, fingers brushing her hair back so he can cradle her skull. "Like this", he repeats in a whisper against her lips. They've never used this position before. It's always been from behind, just as Hydra had instructed him, just how they taught her but he doesn't want that today. He wants this. He wants to see her face. It's the first time the Winter Soldier makes love to her. And it's was not the last.

................

Present: Bucky knows. He knows what he had with North. And it was not nothing. Not to him. Not to her. Things are different now. Sure. But that doesn't mean they have to suffer through old feelings. He turns and walks away from the room. He needs to talk to Steve.

................

"Maybe you can find someone else" Loki offers North who sniffles and looks to him.

"And where would I meet that someone?" she asks him. "And who in their right mind is going to want me, given my history and my....everything"

"You'd be surprised" he offers warmly. "Let's just get you through this protocol first, prove that you're not still under Hydra control and we'll go from there...." she sighs a little and then nods.

"Very well"

.................

Thor turns around hearing the shuffle off dress skirts, then frowns a little before turning on the lights. He swallows hard and then nods, of course, she is.

"Mother" he greets. Frigga sits on his couch waiting for him. She rises from the seat and steps closer to him.

"Heimdall told me" she states. "You should have....either of you should have" Thor nods in agreement. "Where is she?" Frigga asks, Thor gapes a little at her and then shifts nervously.

"She's.......here" he admits. "But we can't...see her" Frigga raises an angry eyebrow. "Right now" Thor adds trying to make it better. "Just right now....whilst she's recovering"

"She needs her family" Frigga argues stepping closer to her son. "Take me to her, right now" he nods and looks down again.