Hold My Love

Chapter 10: Confusion

Giovanni POV

It has been three months since I last saw Sofia and my heart yearns for her more and more with each passing day. This heat of August doesn't make it better either, I think of all the activities I could take Sophia to do from picking blackberries to drive in movies.

The first month was the easiest since the memory of her, voice, touch, face was clear in my head. The second month things got harder as she became a bit foggy and my heart began to scream for her louder.

But this 3rd month is as if I'm running on quick sand. I have tried to excert all my will power into remember the way her fingers felt on my skin but have failed. Or even the sweet sound of her voice down to the soft snores she claims she doesnt have.

Needless to say, I'm going crazy. My drug is gone and these stages of withdrawal are tearing me apart. All I can do to distract myself is work and excersize.

2 weeks ago Sophia sent me a bible verse. It was Mathew 11:28-30, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

She has been sending me bible verses every day since she left. At first I just humored myself with them. Sophia knew I wasnt a Christian. She doesnt know at all what I do for a living but she is a smart women and knows it's not something pretty.

I'm 100 percent positive that God doesnt want me in his heaven. I am a murderer. I've killed so many people and have ordered the death upon hundred others.

But I don't care and I wouldn't take any of that back. I live my life without regrets so everything that I have done I stand by today.

But that verse has been lingering on my mind for a while and it was irritating me now. I dont like having a heavy mind. It's hard to be a Mafia don when your head is racing with multiple thoughts.

I turn my phone off and alert Andre that I was going on a walk and to not send anyone following me behind.

I was acting careless I know but I was about to do something that I want to remain secret.

I outside I head to the local book store where I find two teens making out oblivious to my arrival.

Thankful for the quiet empty store I quickly find what I was looking for and grab a Sappy looking Romance novel called The notebook. I smile thinking how much Sophia would love this. But then remember...

I put the novel back and head to the counter but turn back around and grab the novel again. I'll just mail it to her or give it to her when I see her.

I drop my items on the counter and clear my throat so the teens can look up.

The girl blushes deeply and tries to push the boy off but he continues to suck her neck.

"Stop".

He looks up and finally takes a good look at me. I stare him down and watch as he walks to the back of the store.

The tucks her curly brown hair behind her red ears and looks up at me with big brown eyes, "I'm sorry about that".

I look away, she reminds me too much of Lucia.

***

At my appartment, I pull out Sophia's book and tell Andre to mail it to her.

Then I carry my purchase to my room and get out some highlighter's Sophia had left here.

I pick up a blue one, flip the Bible open and highlight verses she had sent to me.

I turn back to the first verse she sent me;