Hold My Love

Chapter 20: His Angel

Giovanni POV

The dinner date went terrible, she brought up my past and darkness creeped in me suffocating me with memories from the past. We didn't even stay for desert and I didn't take one bite from my meal.

I feel terrible, I had imagined exactly how this night was going to play out but I allowed the demons of my past to ruin it.

Sophia turns to me, "Let's get ice cream!"

I put my cigar out, "We just ate".

She shrugs her shoulders, "It's not considered a meal if there wasn't desert. But if it's your bedtime I understand".

I narrow my eyes, "Are you calling me old or something?"

She laughs, a laugh I have memorized and can hear from a mile away. A laugh that makes people turn around and ask 'what's so funny'.

Oh God how I missed that laugh.

***

I order a small chocolate cone and she gets a large vanilla cone with a toppings of crushed Oreo's. She drives to an empty park parking lot and gets out with her ice cream. I wait a second then get out the car to see her on top of the trunk looking out to the lake.

"Sophia your on the car".

She looks back at me, "Then where do we sit?"

I looked around the dark park, "I don't know, how about the picnic bench over there?"

She nods, "OK but I need to grab my shoes".

I walk over and turn my back to her, "Hope on I'll give you a ride for a small fee".

she squeezes my biceps, "Are you sure? Don't front, If you can only bench 120 then say so".

I turn around and kiss her...hard. I then soften the kiss and end it with a bit of her lip. She has her eyes closed and she's breathing heavy so I take the moment and sweep her into my arms carrying her to the picnic bench where I set her on the table part.

I sit with her legs dangling between mine, "Lost your appetite?"

She refuses to look at me but nods. I take her cone from her hands and lick the vanilla ice cream.

"How many women have you slept with?"

I look up at her, "Sophia".

She shakes her head, "Tell me".

I sigh, "I don't know honestly".

"Any recent partners?"

I trace her bottom lip, "No, but when we took the break..."

She nods, "You went back to your old girlfriend".

I shake my head, "Sinceramente, I have never had a girlfriend. Your my first".

Her eyebrows furrow, "But you have never slept with a prostitute nor stripper".

I chuckle, "Strong memory I see and correct"

She crosses her arms, "So then what was she?"

I shrug, "Lets just call her an old-"

"You better not say friend", She says glaring at me.

I smirk, "Someone's...Jealous?"

She looks away and then rolls her eyes, "Oh please don't flatter yourself"

I bite into the vanilla ice cream, "OK baby".

She lays down on the picnic table her eyes on the stars in the sky. I remove my suit jacket and lay it on top of her then check my phone.

"Come on, it's getting late Soph".

She doesn't budge and I look down at her exposed legs that were decorated with goosebumps.

"Sophia you'll catch a cold".

"I didn't see anyone".

Her voice comes out so soft I thought I imagined it at first.

"I'm not mad at you, we weren't together. I'm stupid to even think girls wouldn't approach you. I-I nevermind..."

I grab her arms and sit her up, "No finish it...we need to be %100 with each other Sophia. I told you what I did, don't shut me out and keep your feelings to yourself. I wan't to know so I can improve as your boyfriend".

Tears rim her eyes, "I'm hurt...hurt Giovanni, hurt. Like I said I'm not mad nor do I blame you, It just never occurred to me that you would find someone else".

I nod slowly and wait for her to slow her breathing, "I never found someone else Sophia. When you left I felt empty, she was my first and the only person I felt a bit of something with. So when she would come to me I allowed her to come. But she couldn't match the high you gave me, not close, not even by far. I broke all ties with her before I left Italy. I'm all yours".

I stand up and kiss a tear that was gracefully cascading down her cheek, "Don't cry Sophia. Don't waste your tears over me".

I kiss the palm of her hand, "I'm sorry I hurt you mio amore".

***

The drive back to her apartment was quiet but peaceful. I told her what I had been dreading to say and she expressed her feelings to me. I look over at her sleeping form in the passenger seat and can't help but snap a picture.

She tired to fight me on driving back but I knew she was exhausted and didn't stand down.

I drive her back to her apartment, carry her to her bed then sit on a rocking chair watching her sleep. I know I look like a creep watching her but I felt stuck in the seat.

She looks like an angel with her curls framing her face and her lips in a pout.

I imagine the beautiful children that Sophia and I were going to have. I imagine a life where I would be excited to come home to see my wife and kids.

I imagine a life where I didn't have to be born into the mafia. Where I had an innocent childhood, where I could become a lawyer like I wanted.

I envy Sophia, for she doesn't know pain, doesn't know fear, doesn't know the taste of death.

She is yet to know what my world consists off. I know dragging her to my world is just plain evil and selfish of me to do, but a day without her makes me feel dead.

I don't know weather I am drawn to her because her innocence makes me feel human or because she sets a fire ablaze in my cold heart.

Maybe it's both.

But what I do know is that I'm falling for Sophia and I haven't got any wings so if my angel drops me, I'll surely die.

Tonight I pray to God that Sophia doesn't break my heart. She has given me a taste of what being alive is like. She can't kill me now.

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