30 days with a demon | Frank Iero x Reader

✞Day 16✞ Sugar Honey Ice & Tea

"But Ryan-"

"No, (y/n), I'm on no one's side! I'm on my side! It's not all about you two!" He seems frustrated when all that comes from me is silence. "You prefer going out with someone who you've been dating for five months rather than us that have known you for years! And I'm not saying this because I want you to spend less time with him because we see you everyday, you still don't talk with us and refuse to spend three hours with us on a Saturday while you can see him everyday if you want!"

There's a brief silence, but I know that - by the way his eyes impatiently and sadly flicker over my face - he is going to speak up again soon. "And," He continues, as predicted. My heart sinks more when I notice his kinda broken voice tone, "we know you haven't known Gerard for long either. We know that what happened five months ago and the impacts it left, but you would've told us about him if he was that important!"

He looks up for a moment, throwing a hand in the air. "We know you, (n/n)! We really like you or else we wouldn't have spent four goddamn years with you! You know it we like hanging out with you! Not gonna lie, we just-" Ryan pauses for less than a second to catch his breathe and continue talking, "just got so frustrated seeing you having fun and spending more time with someone new and..." All the fuel he had seems to be burned by now and his sudden voice tone lowering in the last part reflects it very well.

"You give more importance to them." He presses his lips together, seeming defeated by now as he shakes his head. "I know we're sounding needy. I'm sounding needy and, fuck, jealous!" His eyes remain at the floor as he says that - it gives me the impression he's talking more to himself and frustrated at his own attitude. "But I don't think that matters to you, huh?"

I wish I could answer something. That I could pick any word out of the pool of words that is present in my throat. But no. I stare at him, without consciousness of the expression I have on and with millions of incoherent thoughts crossing my mind at the same time.

To me, it feels like I'm in a dark room, under a spotlight, and that anything I do - even if a small movement of eyes - will be used against me. So I do nothing.

The corners of Ryan's lips slowly curl up into a smile. Not a real one. It holds a lot of emotions and is kind of mocking, sarcastic. By his manner, he clearly wasn't expecting a response coming from me. "That's okay, (y/n)." His weirdly calm voice makes me uncomfortable. "We won't do anything bad, alright? If you come to talk to us, we'll answer you normally. Just don't think we'll see you the same way from now on or plead for your attention." He blinks a few times, keeping his eyes over me for a few seconds as if making sure of my reaction, then turns around and starts walking away.

Ryan is already a few meters away when I seem to come back to reality. I'm kind of thankful he decided to do that after most of the students went home already, but I'm sad he needed to do that. How can I be such an idiot? How could I not fucking notice I wasn't paying the due attention to them?

I can't bring myself to scold myself more since I gradually lose the will to. I'm not even worth it. Hell, why all I keep doing is shit? Nothing I do is actually good! When everything I should've done was to tell a guy I was not interested on him, it all ended up in me losing my best friends! And it's not like Frank, and consequently Gerard, will stay around for more than a few other days! Tears start welling up in my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. It'd be even more pathetic if I cried because of a situation I caused just because I didn't think properly!

Honestly, I feel numb and angry at myself for reacting so much at a situation I created while refusing to see all the problems it could bring. Even though I feel like it wouldn't matter if I just stayed in that spot, I need to head home.