emotion

7

I let her pace for a moment, Calum watching in pure confusion, as if saying "what the fuck are we supposed to do".

She stopped pacing, sitting back in front of me calmly.

"I'm sorry" she spoke quietly.

My heart sank for the kid.

"It's okay" I spoke with the same tone.

"Is it okay if we continue?" I asked.

"Yes" she responded.

"What happened to trigger the suicide attempts?" I asked.

She looked away from me, taking a deep breath.

"The first time was when my parents had first left me." She spoke slowly.

"The second was after the fifth family had chose to adopt someone over me."

"The third was after my fifth fight at school"

"The fourth was on my sixteenth birthday" she spoke slower.

"And the fifth was about two weeks before I went into the ER and met you" she spoke.

"What triggered the fourth and fifth?" I asked her.

She sat completely still

"Do you ever feel alone?" She asked me quietly, wiping a tear that fell down her cheek.

"Yeah" I responded carefully.

"Imagine feeling alone every single day" her voice cracked.

"I'm just tired" she spoke.

I looked to Calum, seeing a choked up reaction from him.

It was an emotional moment.

A rock solid kid just came in here, we thought she was going to jump me ten seconds ago and now she's sitting at an emotionally unstable mindset in front of me, talking about taking her own life.

I swallowed the lump in my throat slowly.

"Therapy didn't work?" I asked her.

She shook her head slowly.
"Almost made it worse"

I noticed her hour was almost up, so I put down my notebook, grabbing her chair and pulling her to where our knees touched.

She looked to me timidly.

"How are you feeling right now?" I asked her.

I saw her expression soften.

I saw the tears appear in her eyes, making them glossy, but she didn't let it fall.

"Fine" she lied.

I looked to her harder.

"How do you actually feel?" I asked her.

She looked away, her breathing ragged.

I grabbed her hand, making sure she didn't react negatively.

"I feel cared about" her voice cracked, her hand going to her face quickly, wiping tears.

"And why does that make you cry?" I asked.

"I never thought I would feel that again"

I felt tears come into my own eyes as she responded.

I pulled her into a tight hug, closing my eyes as she tried not to cry into my chest, failing.

"This is your safe place" I told her calmly.

"Safe place"