The Cop (Ariana/You)

Chapter 2

It was the day before the festival, and oddly enough Ariana came into my mind. It took me surprise that I even thought about her because the past few days she's been absent in my mind. She's strikingly beautiful though. Maybe that's why she's on my mind. But why so random? I don't know. I don't even know what goes on in my head, it's a mess most of the time.

As I'm on the couch playing a match of Call of Duty, my mind wanders back to Ariana.

She was really beautiful and I'm upset that I didn't get to really take time to grasp her beauty, or really process it.

I've been very numb to my feelings ever since my past relationship. It's just a lot of pain that I endured in that relationship that made me become more guarded than what I've been before.

I've always been guarded, even before my past relationship. I've learned to just keep moving forward, even if that meant to not process my emotions, which is really unhealthy to do but it's worked for me for the past years.

Maybe that's also why I wanted to be a cop, I can always be on guard. It fits perfectly for me. You can't show too much emotion or be biased. I've been practicing the art of hiding away my emotions for many years now and it's now practically become my comfortable spot, to the point where if I feel any ounce of emotion, by that I mean like love, happiness, being needed, it's an uncomfortable zone for me.

That's pretty depressing but that's my mind.

I look over and see Kobe laying down, and remembered I wanted to take him out for a run or something.

"Kobe! You wanna go for a walk buddy?" I said as I turned off my Xbox, he excitedly got up and started wagging his tail as if he already knew.

I chuckled and got up to put on gym clothes then grabbed his leash. We drove to a park that had a trail so we can run/ walk it.

I had to keep in shape, not only because of the job but because I just personally wanted to be in shape and get a six-pack, not that I don't, I do have one I just want it toned up to the max.

Kobe and I ran and walked for a good hour, then we went to a spot on the trail that overlooks the city. It was my favorite spot, it was secluded and nobody really knew about it, which I liked.

"It's just you and me buddy." I kneeled down and started petting Kobe.

It really was just us two.

I didn't really have that many friends, just friends at work. Occasionally I hang out with them outside of work, but I don't have any friends to vent to.

As of now, I don't have any parents. I lost my mom to drug addiction. I was upset of course when I found out she died from overdosing on heroin, but I also felt resentment. She chose drugs over her child, her family. And because I've become a second choice to the one person that's supposed to love and nurture you, it's been engraved in my head that I'll always be chosen second, or maybe even last. But I'm used to it, and that's why I'm guarded. Always on the defense, I never expect to be chosen first.

On the other hand, my dad was who I was closest to. He taught me everything I know now. He separated from my mom because of the drug usage. The moments that I did get to have with him I valued. He was my comfort in tough situations. He taught me how to fix up my own car. That's what we had in common. It was always cars with us. Unfortunately, he passed from lung cancer. That was the first time I out of many, I've felt alone in a cold world. By then I was already 18, he let me have his car, his 1950 Mustang Shelby. it was the car we would always work on together.

To this day I try my best to keep it in the best shape, in better shape than my dad was. This car was what I had of my dad.

After he passed I was lost, genuinely lost. But I knew deep down I couldn't live a life how my mother had, drowned in sorrows and drugs, or living in a clouded mind in results from alcohol. So I decided to join the police academy.

There was a lot of doubt that was thought towards from me. They expected a kid from a mother with drug addiction would turn out to be just like her. They were wrong. And because of that doubt, I decided I was gonna be the best out of the best.

I pushed myself harder than I ever did, every single day at that academy, even on days I wasn't there. It was a way to keep me busy.

These thoughts cloud my mind every second of each day. But the one that makes my days better is Kobe. For once I'm a first option. I love doggos.

We got back home and made myself a sandwich and binge-watched Arrow on Netflix, Kobe was just chillin.

It was getting late so I took a shower and got ready for bed, and tomorrow I have work. Which it should be an easy task.

~

I wake up and I checked the time to see that I had slept in till 10 am. And I had to be at the festival around 3:30, it still gave me time to eat and go to the gym.

I first gave Kobe his food and water, then I took him out for a small walk. When I came back it was already 11:00 so I went ahead and made myself something to eat and then hit the gym.

It was already 1:00 when I got done with the gym and realized I needed to get ready for work which would take like an hour.

This job should be easy, I just have to stand guard. Right? Not like I don't always do that.

~~
i hope you enjoy. how was your day?? how are you?

much love,
angelica