Forcibly married to the person whom rejected me

LVII

Elizabeth's pov

His delicate lips planted their seeds on mines, but my soil was as dry as a kindle. Started a fire in me.

I pulled away, I didn't want to accept it. I saw the look on his face, the subtle movements of his lips that he couldn't control. He wanted to apologize, but he never said anything as he sat there in shock. I stood up hurriedly "I'm-I'm sorry" and that was my chance. I ran out, out to the great garden of endless maze and I ran and ran until my breath got hitched away. I felt pity, destroyed, just like my crumbling body being pulled by gravity.

I sat their between the bushes and I cried loudly, "no" I inhale , "he can't be gone- he he, promised me" I yell and yet it seemed like my screams were underwater. Unheard, unfelt...frozen. I felt it, death. I felt it as my breath promised to take a while off, but gravity held me closer and it kept pulling my last bit of strength. I gave in, powerless, vulnerable. I cried, quieter and quieter it got. I lay my head on the grass and I leave my last bit of strength to clutch on it.

"Elizabeth?" The faint yell of Edward was heard and yet no answer was given. "I'll check this side. Spread out" I heard him give orders to the soldiers as their steady heavy steps started covering the silent aura. It never occurred to me, their strength and I wanted to be them, not feel anything, not feel the loss of someone else's but myself. It was a short life of happiness and fulfillment, whereas, mine was an eternity of suffering.

"My queen!.." the faint voice of one of the soldiers came in to me and just when he was about to help me up. "Leave me alone please.." I whispered and he slowly stood back up. "Elizabeth?" It was a clam and warm voice, I looked up to see my mother, white as angel. She bent down and held me in her embrace. I felt her silk white dress wrap my cold body as I witness Edward coming over and the soldiers leaving back to their duty.

"I'm vulnerable mother.."I cried to her and she ran her fingers through my hair, shushing my pain away. "I know..I know darling". "Elizabeth" his heavy worried pants made themselves visible as they bent down to sit beside me. "I'm sorry.." he whispered looking at me. I shake my head at him and tried to smile. After a while of silence and her constant patting I finally stood up and so did they.

Puppets to my show.

Edward lend his hand to my mother and then he excused himself and went inside. I walk side by side to my mother and I ask her honestly, "how did you get over father?..". She looks at me and smiles ever so angelic and says with her true coated words, "I never did and never will, but he made sure that I continue to live, to love, to raise you both and that's what's keeping me from breaking, darling". I look back down at my steps and I say slowly, "Oliver wanted me to be queen".

"And so be it" she claims. I look up at her in confusions. "It's not easy mother" I whisper still locking my gaze with hers. "I know but this empty hole," she points to my heart, "needs to be filled. Whether it's hard work or not". She stops me before we enter and caress my face in her palms, "dear Elizabeth Conner, you know what's right". I nod to her slowly, feeling the power she gave through, feeling how she was drained out of it just for me.

I breathe heavy breaths as I walk to my room. I knew he would be there. Edward. I knew so I walked, and so did my child. My mother was right, she always is. If Oliver wanted me to be queen, I shall be one. Despite my curiosity to know why, despite my pain of letting go. I need to accept this. I should be thankful my mind obliged.

'At least, you are marrying your friend. And not a complete stranger' my mind stated. 'A friend who once loved me..' I replied silently. I was finally standing in front of the closed doors of my room and I inhaled so deeply, I left no oxygen around me. Left nothing else to lose. I opened the doors slowly and eyes meet his, my eyes gazed into his despite the far distance between us, it felt strong.

' a friend who still loves you' my mind said.

I walked over to him and I could see his nervousness. "I'm terribly sorry Elizabeth- i don't know what have got-" he spoke before I cut him half way through, "there is no need for you to apologize Edward" I said softly. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at his standing figure. "I was the one who pushed the idea, the offer. I am the one who's sorry for being unable to accept your agreement so fast" I state. He nodded slowly and sat back down on the chair facing me.

"You don't have to do it if you don't please so," he spoke gently, leaning in, his elbows on his knees, eyes drowned in my owns', "after all, Oliver was your husband. And that holds something". I nod in agreement slowly, "I know...", I look at him and smiled slightly, " you once told me on the day of my marriage that I don't have to accept if my heart doesn't want to".

He nods slightly, "yeah..". I look down on my dangled feet and i say , "might I take that advice in two months?". I take the courage to look back at him and I face his beautiful grin, making his dimple more defined. He was happy, greatly joyed. And I was glad, glad because that smile just answered my deep wondering questions. That smile that I'll get used to.

I've always cared for Edward, always wanted the best for his pure soul. And I'll make sure in two months from this day on, I'll move on from my denial, move on and create a family with him.