Phan / Oneshots Collection

Hidden Feelings (Part 1)

au: dan develops feelings for none other than phil lester

trigger warning:  social anxiety, bullying & suicidal thoughts.

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I walked through the unwelcoming doors of Northridge Central High here in Manchester. Today was just going to be another normal day; anxiety and depression eating my insides out, but I kept that intirely to myself. At least I try.

I was meeting up with Phil later. Phil is my best friend. We met a few weeks ago at a party the entire gradewas invited too. We are both 18, but Phil's birthday being a couple months before mine. We both didn't have dates and didn't drink until we were violently sick like the rest of the students there.

We just hung in the corner, talked, got to know each other properly. I know it's only been a few weeks, but Phil is the best friend I've ever had..and I haven't had many good friends in my lifetime. He understands me, cares, and we have so much in common so it makes it great...and I wouldn't be lying if I said I was starting to like him a little bit.

But I don't think Phil would ever like me in that way. Yes, I'm bisexual, but lately guys have be sort of capturing my attention more. All the girls my grade and class just act sassy and bitchy. Other guys might like that, but not me.

And most of the guys here, like the sport jocks think it's funny to bully me, push me around, beat me up when whenever they get a chance. Some of the guys are attractive, but Phil is for me. Some girls attract me, but I'm talking about people like Jennifer Lawerence; the girls here are a completely different story. Oh, and I guess I should introduce myself.

My names Daniel Howell. Preferably Dan. I like the shortened version of Daniel way better. Anyway, enough about me. Let's talk about my school. My hellhole of a school.
First of all it's full of jocks, the showoffs, the 'popular gangs', the outsiders (which were just the few people who weren't part of groups), and the giant freakin' nerds.

Look, I may or may not like Pokemon and used to collect Pokemon cards..and I may or not not have a 3Ds and have Pokemon cartoon marathons all day over the weekends..but I'm talking about the math nerds, 'the school freaks' maybe. I wouldn't classify myself in any of these social groups. I may be an outsider, but come on, I have a few friends, including Phil (of course), Zoëy, Pj, Chris, Louise, and Emma.

Phil had raven black hair that swept over one eye slightly, crystal blue eyes that you could just swim in, also he was tall and lanky and had a pale complexion. Zoë had a small cute face, with a small nose, bright and welcoming blue eyes and long light brown hair with blond tips. Louise was the fun and motherly figure of our group. She had blond hair with red tips that cascaded over her shoulders like a waterfall, pale green eyes, and usually wore a sundress of some sort. Pj was quite a looker to some of the girls here. He was tall, sort of skinny, had dark brown hair which is slightly curled, bright green eyes, and tells really good stories.

We all tell him he should be an author some day. Then there's Chris; Pj's close friend. We all think they both like each other, but they won't admit it. Chris has dark brown straight hair which falls over one eye slightly, is an average height and is the humorous one of us all. Louise is pretty funny, but if you want tons of laughs Chris is the one to go to. And half of the time he doesn't even try to entertain people.

And last there's Emma. She is the shortest one of us all and can be a bigmouth when she wants too. She's a brunette, but died her hair lime green. Her hair is shoulder-length, she has green eyes and wears glasses sometimes, like when she's reading.

We sat at our own little table at lunch and hung out. We weren't popular, but we all couldn't care less. We had each other and that's all that really mattered.
I shove my backpack in my locker, also getting my required textbooks for the first two classes. Shutting and locking my locker, I walk in Ms. Rubins class and sit in the back, where Louise, Pj and Chris sat talking about something weird, as usual. The rest of our group were in different classes, but I knew I had Lou, Pj, and Chris in English (which was first).