Phan / Oneshots Collection

Hidden Feelings (Part 2)

au: dan has strong feelings for his best friend, phil lester

trigger warning: suicidal thoughts

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"Hey, Dan? Are you feeling okay? You've barely said a word!" A concerned Louise ask's.

Yay, it's Monday! Woo hoo! (Dripping sarcasm).

We were all at the lunch table. Everyone apart from Phil. He never hung with us in a while, actually. I didn't really want to see him today, though. It would just be awkward. I would probably screw up and say something else without thinking it over.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry," I mumble, adjusting my fringe.
Louise, Pj, and Emma were sat at the opposite side of the table, while I sit in the middle of Chris and Zoë.
I had found out later that the reason why Zoë wasn't walking with us yesterday was she got picked up early to babysit.

I reach over and grab a Pringle from the container placed in the middle of the table.
"So," Zoëy smiled and turned to look at me.
"I heard you were at Phil's place last night..how'd that go?"
I nibble my bottom lip and actually consider telling her, but shake it off.
"Ugh, we had pizza, watched a film, talked..." I said in a low tone.

"Anything else, Captian Romace?" Emma added with a smirk, which made me almost laugh, but I was still a bit upset. I wish people would stop pushing me.

I don't want to hurt anyone else by me thrashing at them (and by that I mean yell). They're the only friends I've got. I don't want to lose them.

"Nope, that's it."
They search for lies in my eyes and I guess they couldn't find any.
"Well I um..I gotta go. See you later," I announce as I get up and pull my chair back. I walk out of the cafeteria in a rush and get to the toilets, ignoring the comments I was getting.

I lock myself in a cubicle and pull out my phone. I turn it on and the thing I'm greeted by is

'4 missed calls from Phil Lester'

On the home screen.

I knew I couldn't call him in here so I decided to text him.

My phone was turned off..where are you?? // Dan

To my surprise he was actually typing a reply this fast.

I'm outside the school..can we talk? X // Phil

I grin and type again.

I don't know Phil. I feel pretty weird // Dan

I know, just meet me in the park by the big oak. Please? // Phil

I sigh

Alright. Give me a sec // Dan

Okay ^_^ // Phil

Oh, and the big oak is what we call the giant oak tree behind the school. There is a wide stretching path with trees surrounding everywhere and that's usually where people would smoke or drink or makeout or whatever.

It was a hideaway, basically. It was also where I could talk to Phil about anything, without any interruptions.
I shoved my phone in my black sweater pocket and unlocked the cubicle. Nobody was in here thankfully so I scurry out, through the halls, and out the back entrance of the school.
I run across the pavement and climb over the fence until grass and dirt was under my feet. I ran dodging the trees until I saw Phil and slowed down. I was holding my chest and breathing heavily. Phil laughed at me as I tried to catch my breath.