twenty-four

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ethan

"not that much force," anna says, demonstrating a small swing. "with the smaller clubs, you don't need that much. just like, three fourths of a swing."

i nod, taking my club back from her.

lining up my stance again, i ask, "am i getting better? i seriously want to know."

anna's quiet for just a moment, making me look at her nervously.

her eyes shine in the bright moonlight and i find it hard to look away. she smiles finally, her mouth curving up into a perfect shape.

"yes, e. tons better. can't you tell? people don't make fun of you on the course anymore."

"that's because they know you'll insult them until they cry," i fire back. "seriously. daniel was close to tears that one day."

she laughs, throwing her head back a little. "i just said his head was a little too small for his body, that's all."

i smile at the memory. "you're not supposed to body shame when someone tells me i suck at golf, anna. besides, i can stick up for myself."

"then why don't you?" she asks.

i shrug, taking a couple practice swings. "my mom would kill me if i talked badly to someone who gives a lot of money to the club."

with that, i swing and watch the distance it goes.

not too bad.

"hey, i have a question," she says as i bend down to balance another ball on the tee.

"give it to me," i say, getting into form again.

"liam texted me right before we came ago and asked what i was doing. what does that mean?"

i stop, standing up straight. "he texted you at midnight asking what you were doing?"

she frowns, glancing at her phone again. "he also asked me what i was wearing. how do i reply to that?"

"you don't," i say sternly. "not unless you want him to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do."

she gives me a long look, and i groan. "you're actually debating this?"

"i've never send a scandalous picture in my life, ethan!" she argues. "what's one time going to do?"

"he'll share it around, and it puts a bad name on you," i warn, pointing a finger just to make it sink in more.

a look of pure panic crosses her face and my heart drops to my stomach.

"oh my god," i whisper. "d-did you?"

"no," she shakes her head quickly. "but i took one so i could send it later..."

"no," i grab the phone from her hands, and hold it from her reach. "delete it. never send it."

she lunges up for it, but i hold it high in the air.

"give it back! it's my phone!" she protests.

"then delete it and you can have it back!"

"i can't delete it until you give it back, dingus," she glares at me.

"if i give it to you, do you promise you won't send it and you'll completely get rid of it?" i ask in a low voice.

she sighs. "yes, ethan."

i hesitantly place the phone back in her hands. she unlocks it and swipes a little before pressing the screen roughly.

"did you delete it?" i ask.

"yes."

but the way her nose twitches tells me she's lying right to my face.

"no you didn't," i accuse. "you're lying to me."

"please, ethan," she pleads with desperation. "he won't send it to anyone, i promise. don't shame me for wanting to send it."

"i'm not shaming you, i just want to make that clear. but, i am warning you. i've known liam for the majority of my life. he will get this one thing from you, and never speak to you again."

she frowns. "you're lying."

"what if it spreads and word gets out to stanford?" i ask, leaning closer to her face. "that's a horrible name for you."

anna gulps. "it won't."

"delete it or i will."

"no!" she yells, trying to shield her phone from me.

i try to grab for it, but she drops it down the neckline
of her sweatshirt with a stupid, triumphant look on her face.

i sigh, giving in. "fine. but don't say i didn't warn you."

she lowers her eyes. "i'm not going to send it."

"why not?"

"you're right. it's risky."

"... then why are you keeping it?"

she tosses me a grin. "it's a good one, e. i know my angles. i can look at it if i ever need a confidence boost, you feel me?"

i laugh. "stop."

her smile drops a little to a genuine, small one. "thanks for knocking some sense into me."

"of course. my sister went through this, and it was hard on her. i figured if i could talk even one girl out of it, i would."

"that's really sweet, ethan," she whispers.

something in my stomach happens when she says that, but i push the feeling down.

"just promise me you won't send him anything," i whisper back.

she nods. "probably safer not to, right?"

"right."

we just look at each other for a moment before she begins to pick balls up off the ground.

"well... ready to head back?" she asks.

i slide my clubs back into my bag and sling it over my shoulder. "yeah, it's buggy out tonight."

"what did i tell you about bug spray?" she asks as we begin to walk.

i laugh, nudging her shoulder with mine. "i don't need the lecture tonight. just you."

"i guess," anna admits dully. "but please don't tell anyone i almost made a mistake?"

"who would i tell?" i scoff. "i have zero friends besides grayson."

"you have me."

i think for a moment.

"yeah," i respond quietly. "i do."

"but seriously, why don't you make some friends around here? don't you have school friends?"

"club friends are snobby, school friends are stoners, and the rest are just plain... odd."

anna laughs at that and thankfully stops the questions.

after we sneak back onto the grounds, we part ways with a wave.

i quickly make it up to my bedroom, loudly throwing my clubs into the garage.

right as i get to my window, i see the guest house lights shut off.

but this time, anna flickers them.

with a smile, i flicker my bedroom lights too.

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