thirty-five

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anna

"you're spazzing out, dolan!" i call out with a hint of teasing in my voice as ethan bombs yet another swing.

"shut up!" he yells back, smiling a little bit.

"dude you're swinging like a duffer!" grayson calls out, bringing his hands to cup around his mouth.

ethan rolls his eyes at his brother's comment and stalks back to the cart.

"you made a snowman on hole 6, ethan. that's usually your prime. what's wrong with you today?" i ask.

he scratches his head. "remind me what a snowman is again?"

grayson rolls his eyes. "the par was 5. you made it in 8. that's a snowman."

"i'm sorry!" he argues as i drive to the next hole. "there's so much random terminology, and i can't keep up."

"you've been golfing since you were five, ethan. you haven't held a place for all the terms in your small little brain?" i ask.

"watch it, before the tide washes you out, an," he shoots back, sending me a pearly white smile.

grayson gives him a confused look, but ethan doesn't see it.

"okay how about we just end it early?" grayson offers. "holes 12 to 18 just suck."

"hey," i frown. "15 is my favorite. i like watching ethan's balls go into the big pond."

ethan turns to his brother and says blandly, "she thinks she's funny."

"i know i am."

grayson looks between us yet again and furrows his eyebrows. "what's going on?"

"what do you mean?" ethan mumbles, reaching behind him to count his clubs, making sure he has them all.

"i don't even know," grayson shakes his head. "you guys just seem... different. did something happen between you two?"

we both quickly shake our heads, but the look on grayson's face shows that he doesn't believe us.

"hey anna," he says after a moment. "liam's up there," he points up to the ranch. "you should go talk to him, since you're... you know— dating."

i gulp at his enunciation of the last word, and ethan sends me a discreet, sharp look.

"no," i reply casually, my voice a little higher than normal. "i'm working right now and he's probably busy and—"

"actually he's waving at you," grayson cuts in, staring past my head.

i turn in my seat quickly, and see liam waving at me, motioning to go talk to him.

"no, are you kidding me?" ethan blurts quickly.

grayson turns to his brother, a smirk in his eyes as he asks, "why not, ethan? why can't she go talk to her boyfriend?"

"b-because," he stammers. "she's working."

i nod quickly and reach up to nervously tie my hair into a ponytail. "working, right. and i can't just leave to go talk to someone. that's very unprofessional," i force a laugh.

"anna, no one's here to watch," grayson urges. "just go talk to him. clearly he wants you to."

sighing, i turn back to the ranch. liam stands on the patio, waving his arms with a desperate look on his face.

"fine," i finally give in, stepping out of the drivers side. "if this will shut you up."

ethan's face as i walk past him is filled with worry and betrayal.

be right back, i mouth to him quickly.

he nods and swallows a lump in his throat, wiping off all his facial expressions.

i start off on a fast jog up to the patio, and liam's face comes into clearer view as i near.

"thank god," he breathes out with a smile when i reach him. "i thought you couldn't see me."

"nope. definitely saw you," i answer, shifting awkwardly on my feet.

"well... can we talk about the fourth?" he asks.

"there's nothing to talk about," i respond. "i thought i made it pretty clear what i want."

he rolls his eyes. "yeah, but you don't mean that, anna."

his words cause me to stiffen and stand up straighter. "what? of course i meant it. i don't like it when you'd push me farther than what i was willing to go. and actually—"

"fine, fine," he cuts me off quickly, looking around to make sure no one heard me. "i'm sorry, okay? forgive me?"

"i forgive you, but that doesn't mean i want to get back together with you," i sigh. "i just... don't want it anymore."

"you met another guy, didn't you?" he snorts, avoiding my eyes.

and then i panic. no one can know about ethan.

"no, no!" i rush to protest. "nothing like that."

he sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair then placing it on his hip. "fine, anna. whatever."

"i'm sorry," i mumble.

without warning, i feel him smash his lips against mine, and i immediately pull back.

"oh my god what was that?" i spit, wiping my mouth.

he shrugs. "one last kiss. thought it was appropriate."

"it's never appropriate to kiss someone when they're breaking up with you...??"

he looks like he's about to argue, but i force a small smile in his direction and spin on my heel.

when i get back to the golf cart, it's clear that they were watching my interaction closely.

"see, i told you no one would mind if you went and talked to him," grayson says.

"yeah," i nod shakily, and my attention gets turned to ethan.

his ears flame red, just like the rest of his face. it's clear he saw the kiss and misinterpreted it, which makes me feel horrible and want to reassure him. but i can't, because grayson's here too.

the drive back to the house is long and quiet with ethan refusing to even glance in my direction. my heart pounds as they both unload their things. instead of ethan hanging back to talk to me like he usually does, he's the first to stomp up into the house.

grayson looks confused. "don't know what's wrong with him. have a good day, anna. unless i'll see you at dinner?"

i shake my head. "you probably won't," i gulp.

he nods a little, and starts up to the house. i park the golf cart in the garage and set a reminder on my phone to wash it later today.

as i make lunch, i rack my brain for an explanation for ethan.

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