13 | now

7.3K 299 140
                                    

Noble Creek High,
Senior year,
Present day

Noble Creek High,Senior year,Present day

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I ran away yet again.

I hate myself for it. I hate that couldn't face my problems head-on. I hate that I suck at confrontations. I hate that I was so damn weak.

I ran away and realized that I came back to the same place I was reading Cupid's Match at. I sat down and hid my face in my palms as I tried to calm my trembling body.

Hunter's words let the horrid memories of my break-up with him resurface. The one I tried to forget desperately. The one that always haunted me in my sleep.

Every night I wish it didn't happen. I wished that the Hunter who broke my heart wasn't real. I wished that day didn't exist. I wished I never met him. I wished I never fell in love with him. But my wishes would never come true as the harsh reality dawned upon me every single night I wake up in horror. And then I would cry myself back to sleep until I had no more tears left in me.

To say that the break-up scarred me for life would be an understatement. Everything changed that day and I could no longer be the same person I used to be. I lost a huge part of myself and I blame myself for letting him affect me that much. I started living life aimlessly because everything became meaningless.

Trusting people became one of the hardest tasks for me after what he did to me. I couldn't give my trust to someone so easily anymore. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. That's why I couldn't talk to anyone except the twins and my mom. The three most precious people in my life. I didn't need anyone else.

Nina and Newt played a huge part in helping me recover. I didn't recover fully but I was getting to it with their endless help. Nina thinks that my already affected mental health deteriorated after the break-up and told me to go to therapy. I refused because I didn't want to talk about the whole thing ever again.

But Nina didn't take my no for an answer and encouraged me to go daily. At this point, I just acted like I listen to her whenever she starts talking about it. I'm pretty sure she knows that I don't listen, but she still tries anyway. I love and appreciate her for that, and I truly feel like such a bad friend, but I really can't go.

Newt was always treating me with unhealthy snacks and always tries to make me laugh. Even though I gave him a hard time, he never gave up. I didn't deserve whatever he did for me because of what I did. I told him countless times to stop but he always says it was okay. Nevertheless, I will always carry the guilt of using him.

And then there was mom who never stopped treating me differently. She treated me like how she treated me before the break-up. She made me feel normal. She knew by heart that was what I needed the most.

Everyone in school started looking at me like I was the girl who got her heartbroken by the scary bad boy. They treated me like I was some fragile and sad princess. I hated it. Their looks just reminded me of how pathetic I was. How pathetic I've become.

Beautiful Nightmare (The Beautiful #1) ✓Where stories live. Discover now