Cookie

16

Liam's room is minimal, with a huge queen bed next to a simple two doors wardrobe and a wooden nightstand full of books. Everything is white in here, walls, floor, furniture, even the little rug in front of his bed, making the space seem even bigger than it is. And the big windows allow natural light to give the room a nice cozy atmosphere. His room is the total opposite of him. 

I let my clothes on the bed and head to the bathroom to wash off the sensation of his hands touching me. Here everything is white and bright too. In the middle of the bathroom is the place for the biggest bathtub I ever saw in my life, I always thought mine was big, but Liam's is more like a pool. I look at it imagining how amazing it would be to lay in there for an hour, how comfortable it might be. On the wall behind me is a big mirror facing the bathtub, next to it is a sink and a cabinet where I imagine Liam keeps his stuff. On the right are a small glass shower and a shelf full of man hygiene products like soap, shower gel, shampoo, and some other stuff. Next to the shower is a tall cabinet where I think the towels are stored so there's where I am heading.

I take one of his big fluffy towels and get into the shower thinking I should hurry up if their friends are already here. I allow myself to enjoy the amazing sensation of warm water caressing my skin before I reach out to a bottle of shampoo. I realize Liam's earthy smell is not only his perfume but also his hygiene products, which are all from the same quite expensive brand. I wash my hair fast trying to not think too much about the feeling that I get having his aroma everywhere around me and on me. I am out of the shower in less than 10 minutes but it doesn't help with my emotional roller coaster. 

I almost kissed Liam. Liam almost kissed me. He wanted to and so did I, if his friend wouldn't have walked on us I wouldn't have done anything to stop him, I would have taken anything he was willing to give me... That would have been a mistake.

But such a beautiful mistake... I touch my lips where his almost touched mine feeling them there, his hands on my waist pulling me closer, and his voice... God, his voice sounded so different like he was having a battle inside of him fighting between wanting to kiss me and knowing he shouldn't.

What are we supposed to do now? We should talk about it or we should act as nothing happened?

I pick up my underwear dressing lost in my thoughts. I've picked up for today a black pair of jeans, but not my usual ones, this pair is tighter than what I would usually wear, emphasizing the curves I tried so hard to hide for the last year and a half. I paired it with a black spaghetti straps tank top and a gray embroidered sweater that is way too see-through to be worn on its own. I put on my usual black boots and my outfit is ready. It's not a crazy sexy outfit, but considering my usual style, it is. 

I let my hair wet not wanting to go through Liam's things to find the dryer thinking it would be too much of an intrusion so I get out of his room faking a smile and eager to see if he will notice the difference in my style. Which is stupid, I know, but...can't help it.

"Twinkle, there you are, Mary appears as soon as I open the door. I was looking for you..."

When she sees me Mary stops moving with her eyes and mouth wide open and shock on her carefully arranged face. She wears a nice pair of dark blue jeans that dress her curves nicely without showing too much, a white off the shoulders sweater that makes her look even better than she usually does. Her white converse somehow brings the entire outfit together and the lack of accessories makes her look like she didn't spend hours picking up what to wear today. 

"Nataly, you look... OMG, twinkle, I love your outfit!" she says with watery eyes. "Who are you and what did you do with my friend?" she asks laughing and coming to hug me.

I breathe in her usual Chanel Allure perfume relaxing in her arms, feeling so grateful to have such an amazing friend like her on my side. She was always there for me and waited patiently for me to heal, giving me the space that I needed to grieve.