Dissociation | بچھڑنا

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                                                                           وہ جو بچھڈا تو میں نے جانا۔

                                                                        لوگ مر کے بھی جیا کرتیں ہیں۔ 

( woh jo bichrha tou mein nay jana

log mur kay b jiya krthay hain)

DURRANI HOUSE:

"!صبح بخیر  (Good morning)" Zohaib said entering into the dining hall and handed Zahra to his mom.

"Bhai how's Zahra feeling now?", Huzaifa asked.

"Her fever is gone Alhumdullilah, but she looks pale after a restless night", Zohaib replied with a sigh.

"Oh, my baby Zahra chachu (uncle)will take care of you and give you whatever my princess needs", Zain said in a cheerful voice and pulled Zahra's cheek to which she giggled weakly.

"She needs a mother, nothing else can fill that void for her", their mom said suddenly, causing a pin drop silence.

Zohaib angrily stood up from his place to leave muttering "not again".

"Zohaib you can not ignore this topic every time, your kid needs a mother you need a companion in your life beta. It's high time to realize your situation now", mom said.

"Seriously mom, in just 5 months you want me to forget Ayza. You want me to move on as nothing happened, and even how can you say that knowing how she loved and cared for all of you", he replied with a dejected voice.

"Mein nay bhoolne ko kub kaha?(When did I tell you to forget her?) I don't want you to forget Ayza ever beta. She was and forever will be the most beautiful part of us but think about yourself, your daughter, how will you both live like this", mom said while wiping the tears rolling down her face.

"I can hire a full-time caretaker for my daughter", he replied.

"She needs a mother, not a caretaker", this time dad replied. "Zohaib beta your mom is right if not for yourself please think about your daughter."

"Never, I'm sorry but that's not possible and it's final. I don't want to discuss this topic again please", Zohaib replied. He took Zahra from his mother and went away.

"Come on mom be a good girl, don't cry I can't see you like that", Zain said playfully while trying to normalize the situation. He kissed his mother on her cheek before leaving for college.

Dad and Huzaifa left for office together whereas Saba (their Mom) was still in deep thoughts. Thinking about the life of her dearest son and granddaughter.

Zohaib parked his car outside a lake view park as he had taken off today from hospital due to Zahra's sickness. He carried Zahra in his hands and started walking towards a bench at a shoreline. He sat down in front of the calm water, under the sun. It was the end of Feb so the warmness of the sun felt great. Zahra kept her head on the shoulder of her father.

This place always feels like home to him

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This place always feels like home to him. He and Ayza used to come here together since their college days. The beautiful past has now turned into a painful present for him. The reality of being Ayza's dissociations was suffocating him every second.

The light snores of Zahra brought him out of his reverie. He reminded himself that he has to be strong for his baby, the momento of their love. With tear-filled eyes, he looked towards his baby and placed a kiss on her forehead. He was tired and sleepy as he couldn't sleep last night.

  After some time he carefully stood up and went back home.

*****

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