Don't Be Afraid

Chapter Eighteen

Edited like a boss

Chapter Eighteen

The events that have happened in the past hour were still coming back to me. I didn’t know what exactly happened, but I knew what did happen really shaken Jesse up. He hasn’t looked me in the eye since I woke up from my trance.

But I know, whatever had happen, had gave me one big freakin headache. All I remember was taking my anti-depressants and then the rest was a blur.

It was kind of weird waking up to Jesse on top of me, pinning me to the ground, shirtless. I couldn’t help but stare at his bare torso. It was so muscular and toned. It was like a sculpture. I was ashamed of myself for thinking about Jesse shirtless. Damn teenage girl hormones.

Now, Jesse and I were sitting in the group circle at Adler. We got here on time, surprisingly. Even after everything that just had happen.

Mike explained that we would be running some test. We would be paired in threes to run the experiment.

I got paired with Cindy and Jesse, ironically. We were told to that based on our answers to our questions that we answered Tuesday; we got the partners that had the same problem.

A young male, which I guess was a college student taking the course that requires this testing, came over and explains the test. “Okay, first we are going to hook up some of these electro stickers to your head. They are to monitor your brain waves as you sleep.” The young man explains. Sleep? How is he going to make us sleep?

“To get the results fast enough we’re going to have to give each of you anesthesia. Not a lot, just enough to knock you out for about thirty to sixty minutes. This test is just to monitor your brain activity as you dream. Nothing harmful or dangerous.” I look over to Jesse who was looking at me. I knew we were thinking the same thing. We’ve both had a history of very bad dreams every night. I nod at him to let him know that we should go through with this. We need to find answers and quick.

“So who wants to go first?” The young man asks.

“I’ll go first!” Cindy says enthusiastically. She moves over to the hospital bed and lies down. The young man puts some kind of cream on her various places around her head and then two on her chest. The man peals the plastic off the stickers and put them on the places where he put the cream.

“So just lay back and relax as I get the mean machine ready.” The young man tries to make a joke and fails miserably. Cindy lies down as the man turns on the machine and closes her eyes as the man gets the anesthesia ready.

The man places the clear mask over her head and straps it in. Cindy takes a deep breath once the mask was situated on her mouth. After a few moments she was peacefully asleep. No nightmares or harmful thoughts get in her way probably. Why can’t I be like that? Why do I have to be like this? I close my eyes and calm myself down. There was no need for another mental breakdown in a public place.

I was so wrap up in my thoughts; I didn’t even realize that Jesse was holding my hand. I open my eyes and look at our intertwined fingers. I look up to see Jesse smiling, and I do the most surprising thing ever—I smile back. Well, I guess it wasn’t that crazy since I smile regularly; but it was a smile that met my eyes. A smile that hasn’t really happen since my dad was stilling living with us. This boy can make me smile. Imagine that.

“It’s okay. I’ll be here when it’s your turn.” He says squeezing my hand a little tighter.

“And I’ll be here when it’s yours.” I say back. We have to help each other no matter what. Were the unspoken words between us. It wasn’t just words, it was a promise. A promise that I was there for him and he is there for me.