𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄 - MR BEAST X READER

Chapter 12

Y/N's POV:
"Don't go."
It must've been painkillers he'd taken. Or sleep deprivation. Or, I don't know, drugs or something?
I stood in front of him as he looked up at me through his eyelashes. This couldn't be happening. Even worse, I couldn't be encouraging it the way that I was. Still I reached forward to cup his face in my hands. He didn't move, just let his hands fall to his sides as his eyes stayed fixed on mine.
I didn't know what to do. His cheeks were warm and steadying under my trembling fingers.
All I could say was "Oh, Jimmy."
I think he sensed my pity through whatever haze he was in as his gaze dropped from mine. Part of me hoped he could sense the desperation in those two words as well.
He lowered his head in some sort of resignation and leaned forward. My breath caught in my throat as he rested his head on my hip. We stayed in place for a moment; my hands on his arms as I felt his body move in time with his breathing.
Finally, I couldn't take anymore. I broke the stillness by kneeling in front of him to meet his gaze. His eyes flitted around my face as if he was searching for something in my expression.

"I have to go," I whispered to him shakily, "I'm sorry. Get some sleep."
I could feel the tears welling in my eyes as I, just like in Paris, fled from the man I...
Worked for. The man I worked for. That's all he ever could be.
I blindly stumbled out of Jimmy's room. The tears were hot as they swam in my eyes and flooded down my cheeks. As I collapsed onto the soft white sand I stared up into the clear night sky and the reflection of the moon over the calm ocean water.

I couldn't go on like this. I was living in denial of my feelings and it was destroying me.
The feelings I had been holding back for weeks suddenly crashed over me like the waves I was watching as I cried quietly on the beach.

I couldn't ignore how I felt about Jimmy any longer. I knew that I loved him. But even thinking the idea into existence was too dangerous. I couldn't lose everything I'd gained since I met him.
For the first time in years I had friends I could trust, freedom to live my life happily, I'd made more memories in the last month than I had in my entire life!
But it wasn't fair; not on myself or on Jimmy. I was too scared of jeopardising his reputation and my own career.
I couldn't keep doing it any longer. I resolved to hand in my resignation letter as soon as we got back to North Carolina.

The look on Jimmy's face as I marched into his office and handed him my 1-day-notice letter made my heart shatter into pieces. He looked confused, sad and a little guilty. Neither of us had acknowledged what happened in Costa Rica. or Paris. I could feel the tension that permeated the room, empty except for the two of us.
"Was it something I did?" He asked, trying to broach the subject as sensitively as possible.
"No. No, I just um... I need to go back to LA."
"What for?"
I was getting frustrated. He was making it so much harder to leave than it already was. "I just want to go back. I can't stand it here."
We both knew this was a blatant lie. The shattered pieces of my heart broke even further as he leaned back in his chair in surrender. I couldn't look him in the eyes.
"Okay then."

Leaving Kris and the rest of my friends was equally as difficult as leaving Jimmy. When I told Kris I was going back to LA she just hugged me solemnly. I felt bad for not telling her about my situation with Jimmy, but she was always very intuitive, I got the feeling she knew my feelings before even I did.
My return to my little apartment was painful, too. Walking in to see my new couch was like another slap in the face reminder of how much Jimmy had become part of my life. I packed my bags with everything I'd need for LA. I had some more money saved up this time... thanks to Jimmy... so I'd be able to afford an apartment and anything else I forgot to take with me as I left for the airport once again.