Chapter 87

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I was in awe of Lee Know's ability to take over for me and plan most of my parents' funeral

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I was in awe of Lee Know's ability to take over for me and plan most of my parents' funeral. We made their friends aware and ordered flowers and chose their neighborhood church for the wake.

We ordered headstones and selected a date. Everything was set and ready...except for me. I wasn't ready at all to bury both of my parents. It felt like a final farewell to my old life, and I didn't want that. I wanted to have a normal life where I'd introduce Lee Know to them and my dad would drill him with questions. I wanted my mom to send us ugly, matching Christmas pajamas. I even wanted them to embarrass me and show him my baby photos. But those were gone, too.

The fire destroyed everything. Any remnants of my past life were destroyed. Lee Know had gone to look at the house to assess the damage, but he hadn't let me see. He knew it would be too much for me to handle, and I was grateful that he was willing to take on these responsibilities for me.

We got to town a few days ago. I showed him around my hometown, something I normally would've been excited to do, but my energy was gone. Every ounce of power I had left was being used to watch out for the Hwangs. I was not going to let them take Lee Know from me, too.

When we got to the church for the wake, Lee Know stood behind me for support as I greeted all of their friends. I was the only living relative left to do this task. I cried nearly the whole time as their friends told me stories about their lives...things I'd never known.

I was surprised at how much of their lives I wasn't aware of. They'd known me since I was a baby, but they had a whole life before I even joined them.

After everyone settled in, we began the official service. A few of their close friends spoke about what wonderful people they were. Lee Know held my hand, and I squeezed it tightly in an effort to stop myself from crying. When the last of their friends spoke, I was introduced to give the formal and final eulogy.

I stood with my paper shaking in my hands and Lee Know nodded at me in encouragement. I looked at the paper through teary eyes, and between the disrupted vision and wobbly hands, I couldn't see the words.

"I'm Han Jisung," I began. I at least knew my name. "I'm the son of..." my voice cracked, and I covered my mouth. I couldn't do this. I looked at the photos on either side of me. My parents were so lively and happy in the pictures...

So lively...

But they were dead now. They were dead and I had to eulogize them and my brain couldn't even look at the words let alone speak them.

Lee Know rushed to my side and took the paper. I turned into his chest, and he held me tightly for a moment and kissed my forehead before ushering me back to sit down. Lee Know stayed standing, though.

"Uhm," he began with a cough as he stared at the words I had written to honor my parents. My tears had soaked the page and the ink was runny.

He folded the paper and put it into his pocket.

"I didn't know Mr. and Mrs. Han," he confessed to a room of strangers mourning them. "But I know their son. I love their son," he whispered more quietly. More personally just for me.

"No, I didn't know them, but I feel like I do thanks to the many stories all of you have shared with each other and with Han and I today. For example," he scanned the room for a face with a story he could share.

"Mrs. Santos told me about the time she wanted to surprise her kids with a swing set for their birthday but didn't have the tools to put one together. Mr. Han showed up the very next day with a with a set he had bought himself, and he built it for her. And when she tried to pay him for the swing and for his time, he'd told her that she could pay him back by doing something for someone else one day when they needed the help."

"I also know now that Mrs. Han spent every single weekend volunteering at the women's shelter to help people who were victims of domestic abuse. She even organized an annual charity run to raise money for the shelter."

"Mr. and Mrs. Han were both very involved in their church, and they were very accepting of their son's lifestyle. Those two things don't always go hand in hand."

I smiled softly as I recalled coming out to my parents and how loving they'd been. I was lucky. They would have loved Lee Know. His quiet confidence was exactly the kind of person my mom always saw me with.

"My favorite story, though, was one that Han shared with me a while back. Every Friday, he and his mom would pick up cake from the grocery store. Not a big fancy one, but the little $1 slices in the freezer section that are usually tossed out at the end of the day. They'd even choose one for Mr. Han. And they'd take that cake, and celebrate the end of a week. 'Something sweet to top it all off'."

I sniffled as I recalled telling Lee Know about that, and he handed me a tissue from his pocket as he continued his speech.

"Obviously, funerals are not a party. In fact, they kind of suck," he joked and the room laughed a little in unison. "But I hope that as we celebrate and remember the Hans, that we can indulge in a slice of cake, too."

I turned and saw waiters wheeling in dozens of plastic containers of cakes from the freezer section. They even had the yellowish-green $1 sticker on them.

"Something sweet to top off their lives. They were wonderful people, and I only wish I'd gotten a chance to know them."

Lee Know thanked them for listening and invited them to grab a cake slice from the tables. I hadn't even known he'd planned this...or when he'd found the time.

"I hope this is okay," he began and I shook my head in awe of him again. "I was going to have the cakes ready after your speech as my own gesture of gratitude to your parents. After all, I may not have met them, but they gave me you."

"Thank you, Lee Know. For everything," I wrapped my arms around him, and he walked us towards one of the tables where we selected our cake slices (chocolate and carrot), and I told him more stories about my parents.

And as I did, I realized that there was one way I could keep Lee Know safe.

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