Forget-me-not

Seungmin

A/N: Hi. You can ignore this blurb if you wish because it's one where I ramble. Last night there wasn't an update and no, it wasn't a glitch. I'm usually pretty good about updating this story on time, but last night I kind of fumbled and crashed.

Last week, I started a new job where I'm on my feet for multiple hours a day and I'm not used to doing that. It's an intense and fast-paced retail job. As someone who struggles immensely with social anxiety, it's been emotionally challenging along with being physically challenging. I think challenges can be good, but sometimes we can have setbacks.

Yesterday, I came home utterly exhausted with a sore body and a piercing headache. I usually write my chapters in advance, but since I've been working, I've been a brief wreck. Don't worry, I love writing and have zero plans of stopping. You know when you start a new job and you're full of anxiety and nerves? Yeah? Yeah.

It all caught up to me last night. At some point, I fell asleep and was unconscious for a full ten hours. When I woke up, it was time to get ready to get up for the day and go back to work. So there was nothing to post this morning.

To make up for it, you're getting two chapters tonight and you should get another two tomorrow. I have the next few days off and I plan on indulging in writing and getting more rest. So don't stress, everything is going back to normal on your end.

On the bright side or sadder side (whichever you prefer) I have the last of this story plotted out and we only have somewhere around thirty chapters left. I plan on doing a huge chapter drop after I finish writing the story. I'll let you know when it's coming.

This is also a good time to remind you to please take care of yourselves. You all better be hydrating yourselves, getting a good amount of sleep, and eating properly, or else. If I have to take care of myself, so do you. You have to live long enough to see how this story ends. Plus, I have multiple other members to write full length fanfics about. Do you really want to miss that? I have the gist of them all planned out and I have a feeling that you'll want to stick around for the one because it's going to be interactive.

Anyway, continuing with the story, please enjoy <3

_ _ _

The world seemed a little clearer. The colors were brighter and everything was as it should have been. At least, that's how it was until the reality of the situation settled on Seungmin's shoulders. After Lee Know interrupted everything and ruined the moment, it finally hit what he did; the balloon of love had a tumultuous burst.

"I'm so sorry," he managed to get out. He stared up at Cynthia with a face full of distress. Internally, he was calling himself every insult that he could think of. How stupid could he be?

In the background, Chan began to wave everyone away from the situation. Things were already rough and the added audience would make it all so much worse. Hyunjin mumbled something beneath his breath and Changbin shoved him further down the hall.

All too soon, Seungmin and Cynthia were left alone. Seungmin scanned Cynthia's face for any harm he had done, but she was in shock too. She couldn't believe that the two of them had kissed. She wasn't mad about it, but she wasn't sure if she should be happy about it either.

There was an unknown phantom between the two of them. Were they dating or were they friends? Neither had the courage to ask the other. Dancing on the thin line of the in-between was better, it was safer.

"You don't have to apologize," Cynthia finally found her voice.

"I shouldn't have kissed you like that. I wasn't thinking straight, I just wanted to make Hyunjin squirm. It wasn't right, so I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I could take it back, I would because I-"

"I don't want you to take it back."

The tail end of his sentence froze on his lips. His brain was whirling in overdrive and overheating until her words short-circuited his system. He began to try and spit out words, but they didn't quite make sense. It was more like they were fragmented thoughts whipped together than an actual well-thought sentence.

"I'm okay," she smiled. "It's not like you hurt me, you just caught me off guard."

"You're not mad?"

She slowly shook her head. "No, I think I'm more..." Her eyebrows scrunched together. "Confused? Part of me is scared to ask, but what are we? Our relationship?"

She was still straddling him. Seungmin's back was against the hard floor. Time seemed to come to a screeching halt. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to know? The situation was too confusing and unusual.

"Oh."

"What do you want our relationship to be?" She asked. "Are we still a thing? Are we just friends?"

The blood roared in his ears. Fear grabbed him by the throat and clamped onto him. He swallowed the lump in his throat before gathering the courage to respond. "What do you want to be?"

She shrugged and his heart fell a little. He wasn't sure why, he always knew there was a chance this could happen. Sometimes things don't happen the way you want them too, unfortunately, it's just another part of life.

"I don't know what I want us to be. I'm scared that I'll hurt your feelings. To be frank, I really like you, Seungmin. You make me happy and you make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. You make my heart turn into goo, but I'm not the same person you fell in love with."

He stayed quiet and took in her words. Unfortunately, she made a very good point. She wasn't the same Cynthia that he fell in love with. She was more reserved and she was distant. She was hidden behind a smoke screen and, even though she was here, she was still far away.

"It's not fair of me to ask you to love me when I'm not the same."

"But I do. I really do still love you."

Cynthia stared down at him and her eyes began to water. Her voice dropped down into a whisper. "Do you? Do you really or is that something you say just to make me feel better? I don't want you to force yourself to like me."

He shook his head. "I'm not lying to you about this. I've missed you these past few months. The two of us had something special and it's not something that I'd ever toss to the wind. I truly want to get to know you again. I want to fall in love with every part of you. It doesn't matter if it's different or not."

"You used to be my girlfriend," he continued. "I lived with you for nearly a year. You were and still are my everything. I'm sorry that I've had such a hard time showing you. I'm not very good with words and actions when it comes to being in love."

"Between us, there was a joke that you were the more romantic one. You were the one who was good at all the mushy stuff. Me? I'm not very good at it. I don't know how to do it properly without feeling foolish. You bring out the best parts of me, even the stupid and idiotic parts; the ones where I can't think straight and I can't speak properly because of the way I feel about you."

Cynthia's heart fluttered at the sincerity of his words. It finally felt like the two of them were making progress. This was the first stepping-stone in figuring everything out. They always say that the hardest step to take is the first one.

"Am I allowed to ask if I can kiss you again?"

"You don't even have to ask, you can kiss me anytime you want to."

Without another word, Cynthia shifted forward and connected their lips again.