Forget-me-not

Cynthia

She didn't know how long she clutched onto Seungmin and sobbed. It was long enough that her eyes were bloodshot with tears. The salty liquid ran down her cheeks, dribbled down her chin, and soaked the collar of her shirt. It speckled Seungmin's zip-up hoodie. 

Seungmin began to hum softly after a while. He didn't want to interrupt her sobbing. He knew she was a wreck deep down. All these emotions were pressed down inside of her and molded there by Flora. She needed to get them out, no matter how long it took. 

Screw the dance practice, he'd stay here all day if he had to. He'd stay here the rest of the evening, all night, and throughout the next morning. Cynthia was struggling and he wasn't going to leave her alone this time. She needed someone to be there for her and he would be. He'd be there in the way that Flora wasn't. 

Amnesia was a terrible and tragic thing. To come back into the world and have your first experience with a toxic person, he had no idea how much hurt she was harboring. He regretted everything, but he couldn't take it back. 

He couldn't take back the days where he waited and drowned in his own sadness. The days where he ignored his band members while he choked himself to sleep on his own silent tears. The days where he got snappy too quickly, the ones where he was a bit too mean. The one day he snapped at Felix, after Felix just wanted to talk about an event he experienced, he'd never forgiven himself for causing the look of hurt that flashed across Felix's face.  

Cynthia's sobs faded away and turned into hiccups. The gentle lull of Seungmin's heartbeat accompanied his humming. She didn't recognize the song, but it seemed to be a slower one. She was glad he was there and she didn't have to face this burden alone. 

It took nearly another twenty minutes before she pulled herself away from his chest. He instantly missed the feeling of her body against his. She rubbed at her eyes with her palms until the room turned black and non-existent stars twinkled. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. 

"For what?" 

"Crying and ruining your day." 

"What makes you think that you ruined my day? It's alright, you know. I like being here for you, you know that, right?" 

She wiped away the remainders of tears beneath her eyes. "You should go find the rest of the guys. They're probably wondering where you are. I'm sorry for keeping you away from practice." 

"Don't be. Lee Know can be a picky teacher and he's always up my ass about something. His head is so far up my ass that he doesn't even realize he's been screwing up the dance moves this entire time. We're all supposed to go left on a spin and he's been going right. The idiot doesn't realize it and it's too funny to point out." 

The ghost of a smile crept across her face. "You should do the right thing and tell him." 

"I could or I could stay here with you. Staying here with you sounds like the better option." He shifted and reached for his back pocket. "Can I show you some stuff?" 

Cynthia nodded and waited for him to show her. She leaned back in her seat and let her body start to relax. She had cried until her tears stopped coming out. Despite how exhausted she felt from crying, she felt a lot better. 

"Did you know that we used to live together?" Seungmin asked as he pressed his thumb across his phone. "We used to share an apartment." 

"I thought I lived alone." 

"Why did you think that?" 

"Because it's what Flora told me." 

"I think she told you a lot of things that I'm going to have to correct. I wanted to show you this photo album that I have on my phone. It's full of pictures of us before the accident." 

"You have pictures?" She couldn't stop the excitement from creating a small smile. The familiar twinkle of light was starting to slip back into her eyes. It warmed his heart and he nodded. 

The phone was passed over to her. "This photograph was taken the first time we went to a baseball game together. We went with the other band members and we took a lot of photos and had a blast." 

She stared at the photo of them, trying to remember everything about it. Seungmin stood behind her and his arm loosely slung around the front of her neck. His hand rested on her shoulder and her own hands gripped his forearm. The two of them were wearing matching Lotte's jerseys and similar wide grins. 

"Did I like baseball?" 

"Honestly, I never really knew. You said you did, but I think you just said it to make me happy. You tried to keep up with it all, but one day you referenced a home run as a touchdown. That's football and not baseball." 

"Oh." 

He swiped the photo and there was a photograph of Cynthia smiling and blushing as she looked down at a bouquet of bright blue flowers. Seungmin's hand shot out to hand them towards her. She looked smitten with the golden sunlight dancing around her head like a halo. 

"These are called forget-me-nots and these are your favorite flowers." 

"They are?" 

"Well, you can always change it, but that's what it used to be." 

Cynthia leaned closer to get a better look. Before she could realize what was happening, Seungmin wrapped an arm around her waist and gently tugged her closer. When he pulled her onto his lap, she didn't object. 

He kept swiping the screen and showing her different photos. There was a story attached with each one of them. The distraction caused her to forget about the dryness of her eyes. She forgot that she had been crying for a while. All she could focus on was his voice and the photographs. 

She might have forgotten, but he didn't. Her memories wilted away, but they were fresh and blooming in his brain. He'd tell her every memory he could remember because that's all she craved. She just wanted to remember everything and he was going to do his best to help. 

Even if it was all night, even if he had to repeat himself over and over and over again, he'd do it; that's what you did for your significant other when you were in love.