LOSS

CHAPTER 15

I had to turn off my phone. Barry and his Selena were sending me death threats. They were so pained and I can't banter words with a pair of morons.

I didn't need that negativity in my life. Neither did I need this house. The house I called my matrimonial home. It was never a home though, it was just shelter.

"Are we moving back here?" Mariana asked from the couch. Her school was in the area and commuting everyday had me stressed. So I decided we'd spend the night here so she could get to school early without both of us looking like we were forced out of bed. My mom is a very effective human alarm.

"Do you want to?" I asked instead. I hope she says no because I can't stand this house. The minute I stepped through the door, I felt sad.

"Not really" she said with a pout.

"I'm selling the house then" I informed her.

"Where are we going to live? She asked happily "with Grandma?" She was expecting me to say that, unfortunately I have to burst her bubble this time.

"No, we'll get a new house. Just the two of us"

I shouldn't have pointed that out. now she's going to ask the dreaded questions. She's used to not seeing her father for months in the name of business trips. She had no idea we were a getting a divorce. I had to sit down for this one. I moved to her and sat quietly waiting for the onslaught of questions.

"Just us?? What about Daddy?" She asked confused.

"Well honey you see, your father and I. Well we are going to be living in a separate house far away from each other forever" I told her. How else do I explain a divorce to a five year old girl?

"You're getting a divorce?" She asked quietly.

Hold up! What?
"How do you know what a divorce is?" I was completely shocked.

She honestly brushed off my shock. "Everybody knows what a divorce is" she said in a duh tone.

"When I was five I didn't" I countered. What do kids discuss nowadays?

"You know that was like a million years ago" she said playfully. My jaw dropped. I quickly pounced on her tickling her mercilessly.

"I'm sorry mommy" she shrieked through her laughter. I finally stopped tickling her. How a serious conversation turned out to be tickling affair I will never know. But I love my daughter. I was expecting the worse.

"So am I going to live in two houses?" She asked as if realising something. Her face looked like she was already heartbroken. I know she's imagining how her time with her father without me would be like.

"No my love, you won't. It's just you and I from now" I stretched out my hand and she came into my embrace.

"So Daddy left us?" She asked almost sadly. If I let her believe that, she might possibly grow up not feeling good enough. That is if she doesn't think so already. I mean her father ignored her like she was a plague. I wished my response was the truth but it wasn't. I had to lie.

"No baby, We left him"