Johnlock Fluff (mostly) Oneshots

Danger Night

Hey guys, I got this idea from a chapter in a book of oneshots. I am in no way copying a chapter, I literally read one paragraph and decided to use it. Kinda TW: suicidal (sorta) and danger night (obviously).

John's POV
I walked into the flat, closing the door behind me, and I leaned back against the door for support sliding down it as tears slipped down my face. My eyes squeezed shut tightly, causing even more tears to fall. I drew my legs to my chest and buried my face into my knees so I resembled some sort of ball. 

Having my eyes shut made me think of the events of the day.

I was nearly done with my shift at the hospital when someone started shouting my name. Apparently a 6 year old boy was shot and I had to operate on him. 

Several hours later, we were done and we had failed. The boy had died. I felt numb inside. I was responsible for the death of someone so young. 

A hand on my shoulder jolted me back into reality. I looked up and saw Sherlock standong over me, looking confused and concerned. 

"What's wrong, John?" Sherlock asked.

"Nothing, Sherlock. I'm fine." I lied. 

"But you're clearly not, you-"

"I'm fine, Sherlock. I don't want to talk about it." I knew I spoke too harshly; I didn't mean to, but I really didn't want to talk about it. 

Sherlock didn't reply, he just looked down at me, so I just pushed passed him and went up to my room. I couldn't deal with being around him right now. I could barely deal with being around myself, but I couldn't do much about that. 

When I got upstairs, I locked the door and collapsed straight on to the bed. Tears leaked from my eyes once more as the memories of today replayed in my head. Sherlock came upstairs and knocked on my door. He tried to open the door and I was glad that I had locked it.

"John?" Sherlock's voice was filled with concern as he called to me through the door. I remained silent. He knocked again but when I didn't reply, he sighed and went back downstairs. 

I just layed there in bed, curled up on my bed under my duvet, my pillow sodden with my tears. 

Sherlock's POV
John refused to tell me what was going on and I was worried about him. He had told me that nothing was wrong, but that was an obvious lie. As soon as he came home he started crying, and then he went upstairs and continued to cry. He wouldn't talk to me. I was worried about him, he was still crying, I could hear him.

I knew that he was stubborn and that he wasn't going to come out anytime soon, no matter what I said. If only he would talk to me about it. 

After a while, the sobs upstairs subsided. Then, there were loud bangs coming from the room above my head. It sounded like someone was throwing things around, which John was probably doing right now.

I wish I knew what happened so I could help. If only he hadn't locked the door. I went into my mind palace to try and find anything on what could have happened. 

A few hours later, I emerged from my mind palace in defeat. There was absolutely nothing in there of use. I noticed that the bottle of scotch was gone. John. 

I ran upstairs and went into John's room. He had left the door unlocked this time so I could just enter. There was John, sitting on his bed, holding a gun. He looked at me, his eyes glassy and unfocused. 

"Oh John, what happened?"

He swallowed, looking back down at the gun that he was holding. His belongins were everywhere, his drawers from his dresser were thrown across the room, his pillows were scattered about and his room was just a mess in general.

Slowly, I went and sat next to him. I put my arm around his shoulders gently and I took the weapon from him. 

"John?" I whispered.

"It's my fault. I-I couldn't- it was me-"

"What happened? I'm sure it's not your fault."

"It is. I was supposed to save him. It's my fault and now-" He cut himself off with a sob and he hid his face in my chest. 

"Who, John? I'm sure it's not your fault."

He just shook his head. I sighed and hugged him. His breathing deepened and evened out and I realised that he fell asleep.

I layed him down on the bed and draped the duvet over him. He didn't give me much indication of what had happened. I wish he had but he was very clearly upset. Emotions may not be my strong suit, but I knew enough to know that he was incredibly upset over something, considering he tried to drink himself to death.

The next morning, John didn't get up at the usual time he usually did. It was fair enough, he probably had one of the worst hangovers ever, plus he was most likely still upset from whatever happened yesterday.

At 1pm, I went up to his room to see if he was awake. When I went in, I saw him huddled under his duvet. He was awake, just staring into nothingness. 

I went and sat on his bed nest to him.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

He just shook his head, not even looking at me.

"Headache?"

"Not that bad." His voice was flat and dejected.

"What happened last night, John?"

He closed his eyes.

"Yesterday, a boy came in to the hospital. He was 6 years old. He got shot and I operated on him but he died. It was my fault. I couldn't save him."

"Oh John." I put my hand on his arm. "It wasn't your fault. You can't save everyone."

"I'm a doctor, I'm supposed to save people."

"Not everyone."

For the first time today, he looked at me. His eyes were rimmed with unshed tears. 

I sighed. I felt so badly for him, but I also admired him because I was sure that this wasn't the first incident like this that had happened, yet he was still here. 

I lifted up the duvet and got under it and put my arms around him. He burrowed his head into my chest and hugged me back even tighter.

I knew he wasn't okay, and he probably wasn't going to be for a while, but I would be there with him every step of the way.

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Hey, get me, I finally finished the chapter that I started on January 3rd. Sorry it isn't great, it's nearly 1am and I'm exhausted but I wanted to finish this chapter because it's been like a week since I updated. Technically it's March 1st, so Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus, plant (Happy Saint David's Day, children). Anyway, it's late and I'm babbling so goodnight, see you guys soon :D