"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
The bottom legs of a horse and the top half of a the same horse fought as two uniformed officers walked them across the bullpen to the holding cell. The bullpen was decorated for Halloween, with all the usual spooky decorations scattered around the place.
"Ugh, Halloween is the worst" Amy complained loudly as she walked over to you and Jake. "Everyone's drunk, wearing a mask, and carrying a fake gun. Plus all the girls think they have to dress sexy."
"I know, that is the worst. Please make them stop" Jake said sarcastically.
"I passed a slutty tree on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?" Amy said.
"Was it a maple?" Scully asked from his desk.
"Was it a maple?" you asked Amy as she walked off.
"Buon giorno, buon giorno. Pretty cool 'stume, huh?" Charles said as he walked across the bullpen, dressed as a ginger haired chef.
"'Stume?" Jake said, confused.
"Short for costume" Charles explained.
"Ah. All right, let me guess. You are ... Italian Ron Weasley" you guessed.
"Dumpy Chuck Norris?" Jake said.
"No, I'm -" Charles tried to say before Rosa cut him off saying "Dumpy Ed Sheeran."
"You guys, stop it" Terry said. "He put thought into his costume, and he is obviously Miranda from Sex and the City."
"Guys, I'm Mario Batali!" Charles exclaimed. The squad looked confused. "Molto Mario? Celebrity chef? Ginger prince of little Italy?"
"Is he also a homeless troll doll? 'Cause you look like a homeless troll doll" you said.
"Hey, sweet Batali costume, dude" a perp said as he walked passed, escorted by an officer.
"Thank you! There is a man with impeccable taste" Charles exclaimed to the bullpen.
"He bit a guy's butt off at a W.N.B.A game" Jake said.
"So, don't be too happy about him knowing who you're dressed as" you said to Charles, who was now very annoyed.
---------------
"I hope you're all well rested. It's gonna be a busy night" Terry said from the front of the room.
"The holding cells completely full. I keep having to separate Hillary Clinton and Kim Jong Un" you said, flashing back to when you and Jake saw them kissing, and ran into the holding cell to separate them.
"We need two undercovers at the Dekalb Street Warehouse party. Boyle, you're already in costume as, uh, Joy Behar" Holt said, looking down at his clipboard.
"I'm Mario Batali" Charles said.
"Okay. And, uh, Santiago, you go with him" Holt said to Amy, who was visibly alarmed.
"Yes, sir" Amy said.
"Santiago, I know you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it" Charles said to Amy.
"Can you magically make everyone kind, sober and fully dressed?" Amy asked.
"Kind, sober and fully dressed. Good news, everyone. We found the title of Santiago's sex tape" Jake exclaimed to the entire briefing room.
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"Well, ring it up, nerds. Me and y/n just arrested our first Halloween idiot of the season" Jake said as you and him walked into the bullpen.
"He was trying to rob a bank but had a little trouble with the getaway" you said.
You flashed back to looking at the man dressed as a banana tried to get through a bank door, but got stuck. Meaning, that Jake yelled stuff such as "Trying to 'split', huh?" at the perp.
"I swear, these perps are so stupid. I'd make a better criminal than any of them" Jake boasted confidently.
"Yeah, you would. You'd be an evil mastermind and everyone would call you the handsome bandit" Charles said encouragingly to Jake.
"Thank you, Charles. And the best part is, none of you could catch me" Jake said as Holt walked into the bullpen.
All the squad protested as Holt stopped by the conversation and said "I'm fairly certain you would be caught. No, scratch that. I'm 100% sure you'd be caught."
"Ho, ho, ho!" Jake said. "All right, challenge accepted."
"I didn't issue a challenge" Holt said.
"Fine. I'll issue it for you. What's the most valuable thing in your office?" Jake asked.
"My medal of valor" Holt said.
"God, you are such a hero. All right, how about this? I will bet you that by midnight tonight, I will steal the medal of valor from your office" Jake said.
"Why would I possibly agree to that?" Holt asked.
"Because, if I lose, I'll work for the next five weekends, no overtime. And I won't tell anyone here about the time I saw you wearing short shorts outside of work" Jake said. "But if I win -"
"You won't" Holt interrupted.
" - You have to do all my paperwork tonight, the busiest and spookiest night of the year. And you have to publicly state that I'm an amazing detective-slash-genius" Jake finished.
"And this won't interfere with you doing your job?" Holt asked.
"You mean my job as an amazing detective-slash-genius? No, it will not. I'll do all of my work guaranteed." Jake said.
"I'm considering it. I'm interested. I agree to participate" Holt said.
"All right. There's the robot I fell in love with" Jake said as him and Holt shook hands firmly.
I love Halloween episodes. Also, first 'title of your sex tape' joke!!
