The Hurt Behind Your Eyes

apologies or lies

As I walked out of the photo shoot I couldn't help but feel dirty. I mean I just used Kevin to make Uscher jealous and make everyone else think that I was okay. which I clearly wasn't. I mean now that I looked at Kevin I realize that I don't want anything with him and that I still love Usher. it sucks.

"Here's my number." I said as I scribbled my number on a piece of paper I ripped from inside my purse.

"Thanks"

"Well bye." I said rudely I mean I new he was going to call sometime soon because I obviously owed him. Well maybe I didn't I mean he just received a whole bunch of publicity right there and he sure shouldn't asked for anything more.

As I walked through the streets of New York I realized how much my life has changed this couple of months. I mean yes I always dreamed about this but I also wanted to graduate and dissapear somewhere until I fixed myself. But I stupidly decided to get involved with a stupid boy and ended up even worst than I was. Now am lonely,heartbroken, and worthless. Well too myself because everyone else would kill to have my autographs and be with me twenty four seven. But I still can't think of What if.

when I finally reached the hotel I was staying at I quickly walked to the elevator and to my surprise Uscher was standing there.

"What do you want?" I asked very angry. Well inside because when the words came out I actually sounded hurt. And I cursed myself for that.

"Am sorry...for What I said. I didn't mean it." He slowly said and I couldn't say anything. I was frozen in place until the elevator doors opened and I took a look at him and I swear I saw tears in his eyes. But no I didn't fall for it. I walked out of the elevator and walked to my hotel room. But he still followed me.

"I know youre with Kevin now but you don't know who he is" he said with a frown.

I was fidgeting with my keys trying to figure out which one was for the stupid door when I realized it wasn't keys I needed it was a card. I lightly chuckled and then looked for the card in my purse while I spoke very rudely to Uscher.

"Oh. So you know everything now don't you" I said with a hint of anger and a frown on my face.

"Am sorry but his the reason I broke up with you." he said rapidly.

I couldn't believe my ears. Did he just say that? Just my luck. Everyone I bump into happens to know someone else in my life and dramaticly ruin it too.

I finally unlocked the stupid door and I walked in and threw my purse on the couch. Then I turned back to the door where Uscher was still standing emotionless. I grabbed the door and right before slamming it in his face I said:

"Your lies only make me hate you more. Don't ever talk to me!" I yelled.

I couldn't help but feel bad for What I have just done to him I mean I couldn't help but cry. The look in his face was all filled with hurt and dissapointment. Yet even do I said that to him I couldn't help but to think he was telling me the truth and as I sank down to the floor with my back against the door I could help but want to open the door amd apologize. As i sat there i heard him yelling my name from the other side.

A few minutes later he stopped and not because he wanted to but because the neighbors had complained and he was escorted by security out of the building but right before he left he said once again "I'm sorry. I won't give up" and that's when they took him away.

I just wanted to chase after them and tell them to leave him and bring him back to my room and wrap my hands around his neck and feel his warmth go through my body as we kissed. But I had a feeling that feeling will never come through here ever again.

I stood up and ordered some Chinese food and right when I hung up I received a message.

'Meet me infrpnt of the jewelry store by the studio.

-Kevin'

Great time to pay him back. Even do I didn't want to go and eat my Chinese food as soon as it got here I changed into some skinny jeans and a black fitted t shirt and left the hotel room.

To my surprise the Chinese food arrived right when I was about to leave the lobby so I decided to pay the delivery man who was very handsome and took my box of pork fried rice.

Ten minutes later I was infront of the jewelry store eating my food. Which saying that was delicious would have been and understatement.

As I finished my food a black van pulled up and chills went through my spine. I had a bad feeling about this but I couldn't do anything but run. I mean there was no one around on the streets at this time even do it was only eight o'clock at night. But as I looked at my chances of getting away as a big man with dark glasses got out of the back of the van I realized it might have been too late to run.

Yet I couldn't help but wonder where the hell was Kevin.

The man quickly grabbed my arm and pulled a tissue up to my nose and I quickly became sleepy and before I knew it everything went dark.