The Hurt Behind Your Eyes

Secrets

I woke up in the morning. The sun on my eyes woke me up. It wasn't hot or cold the temperature was just right. I loved it and from this time on I will appreciate every day I wake up. Especially if I wake up next to him. I'm glad I came to North Carolina. I met him and I'm who I want to be now,well mostly am still spoiled goods and I don't deserve him yet I can't help to be Happy. Plus I have my favorite car with the design I always wanted painted on it and I'm happy. I just can't stop saying that am Happy can't I. I look to my side and notice his not there. I get up brush my teeth and walk to the living room I spot him drinking a cup of coffee with a worried face.

"What's wrong?" I ask searching his face for any clues.

"I need to tell you something" he says with a frown. Oh no please let it not be that he regrets What he said. Or that it's over or any bad news because I am so Happy right now and I can't help but to feel that if something bad is said to my my happiness will fade away and won't return for a while.

"What?" I ask with concern.

"Um...my brother...he came for my help" he says.

"Help for what?" I ask confused. I approached him. Now I was scared this couldn't be good.

"His involved with gangs" he said looking at the floor with disappointment.

Yeah I been knowing that I though to myself.

"But you are not involved on that" I say worried of what his answer might be.

"I am actually I used to be the leader of their gang." Said Uscher.

"What gang?" I ask worried. No , no, no! The night before was so perfect and being here with him on this island was one of the best moments ever and yet I still wanted to know. Even do I deeply new I was going to regret it.

"The...."

"What gang? Uscher?" I ask worried and with anger. I was so closed to shake him for the stupid answer.

"Grave....the grave diggers" he hesitated. When I heard his answer my eyes grew huge. I couldn't believe it. The grave diggers. He was the leader of the grave diggers! That was the same gang that killed my cousin and my mother. Even do I hate my mother I cared and my cousin he was everything to me. Tears started to roll down my checks and I became angry. I almost fell to the floor but I managed to keep a hold of myself.

"You killed my mother and my cousin! How dare you hide that from me?" I yelled.

"I'm sorry but I didn't do it" he said sadly.

"You were the leader at the time do weren't you" I said with anger.

Now I wasn't thinking everything on my mind was blurry and I was full of anger and hurt one again feelings I very well recognized throughout my life.

"Yes but it wasn't me I swear I never ordered anyone to kill anyone" he shouted.

I could see tears on his eyes and I also saw regret. But I didn't care about that now I wanted out and I never wanted to see him again.

"I want to leave now!" I yelled.

I looked at him and I saw more tears in his eyes yet as one rolled down his cheek I felt no sympathy. I should've never dated him. This was all a mistake coming here with him, meeting him, going along with every kiss he gave me everything was a mistake. He walked outside with his shoulders down. He walked with a sad rhythm and I followed him we both got on the boat and we went back I'm going to miss the island but I want to go. I don't want to look at him ever again. The ride back was silent and uncomfortable. And all I could think about was that he said. He kept glancing my way but I ignored him I could tell it hurt him but once again I was been selfish and I didn't care. Even do on the boat ride I saw him cry for the first time as well.

When we arrived he handed me my car keys and he said sorry. His been apologizing too much lately and am growing tired of it.

I ignored him and walked to my car and took off. As soon as I got out of the boat alley I started to cry. I love him but this was too big to ignore. He used to be the leader of The Grave Diggers I mean they were the ones responsible for my mothers and my cousin's death.

I got home and I parked my car right outside when I was about to go inside my house I saw Edgar sitting on the porch.

"It's about time" he said.

What did he mean by that?

"What do you want?" I asked with anger.

"What didn't go so well?"

"Why do you care?" I asked annoyed.

"I have always cared Rachel" he said picking up my hand.

"What do you want?" I ask taking away my hand.

"You" he whispered then he leans in and kisses me. I was shocked I couldn't move or anything. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go. I heard footsteps behind me but he was holding me too tight. Then I heard him laugh and I pushed him off. I turned around and it was Uscher.

"Hello brother" says Edgar with a grin.

"So is this what happens? When you get mad you leave with ought letting me explain and then you make out with my brother. Is that how it works?" says Uscher with anger. You could still see the stained the Tera had left in his checks and his eyes were still red.

I just stared I was shocked just a few minutes ago I was mad at him and I never wanted to see him again but now I didn't want to lose him.

"Brother come one I knew her first. She has always been mine" said Edgar placing his arm on top of my shoulders. I turn around and slap him then I looked at Uscher.

"I never kissed him he kissed me and if you don't believe it then I guess we should've never been together" I said right before I turned on my heel and walked inside my house. As soon as I closed the door I dropped to my feet and yet again began to cry. I definitely didn't want this but some how I couldn't help but to feel I deserved it I mean am not normal. Am a terrible person and I don't deserve someone like him even do his a gang leader or was. Am no good. I will always be the girl that ends up fucking everything up and faith will ways throw that on my face. Because I don't deserve anything good that comes my way and when I receive it somehow, somehow it gets taken away and I always end up hurt and crying.