Fragments of the Lost [Fate/Grand Order] [Abandoned]

Chapter 13

"..."

"..."

"So..."

"Is there a problem?" Archer without batting an eye behind him, cleaning a glass. His hair swayed back and his shroud back on. Cleaning whatever dishes that have left remained after serving a few Servants. He decided to return to Chaldea. When asked why he simply stated that his small vacation was over. He'd rather be back in the kitchen isolated, at the same time locking himself in his room in silence and mess with his gear.

"You know already."

"That the person you're possessing is me and you wish to know more about your host?"

"Correct." Senji said with his usual grin.

Archer only twitches his eyes, that voice... It's practically the same... Of course, it would.

"Well, there's nothing of the sorts you should know besides Shirou Emiya being an idealistic fool. The boy would throw his own life away as long as it meant he's able to save a person. An impossible ideal of a world without conflict was passed down to him by his father which he strived for. But knowing this is an alternate version of said 'boy'... Who knows how his life differed from the other. If that is all, I'll continue working in peace and you may go on your way to wherever."

"... I have a feeling you don't like me. And why do you refer to the kid as 'boy' instead of 'me' or 'my past self'?" Senji asked.

"..." Archer turned off the water and began drying off his hands with a towel. Turning around to stare at Senji. "It's not that I dislike you. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing personal... Actually, it is personal." Archer says.

"But not towards you. But the boy." Archer says.

"You... Still haven't explained why you call him that—"

"Quiet numbskull." Archer says. "Sigh You didn't let me finish."

"The reason why I call him 'boy' or sometimes refer to him as 'him' is because the two of us are simply different existences. I refuse to be known as him and him being known as me... Because I refuse to be acknowledged as the existence known as Shirou Emiya..." Archer said grimly as he turned his back again.

"Senji Muramasa. It is not you I hate. Nor is it your vessel. But myself is who I hate. No matter how much I cast my own original identity away. I will always be him in the end. Call it self-hatred... I have no reason to hate the version of 'me' that you possess. But just looking at you or even ever looking at any version of myself... It only brings back memories I wish to forget."

"Do you hate those ladies then? Seemed to me they're happy with you."

"... Their existence... It all but makes me remember my failures and mistakes in life. No matter how much I try to amend and move from the past. And seeing them here once again. I'm but stuck in the past. But I must move on, which is something I'm trying. The past is the past, it can never change, no matter how much you try to change it..." Archer says with a tired sigh. "It's even more tiring when there's all but alternate versions of them as well. Tell me, do you feel a sense as if you knew them? Artoria, Ishtar, Parvati, Kama, Kiritsugu, Sitonai, Illya, Jaguar Man, so forth?"

"... Yeah..." Senji said in defeat as he scratched his nose. "When I speak to them or even know them, I guess you can say that I feel like I wish to talk to them more you know what I mean? It's like my memory is hazy but I also know them."

"It seems to me like the Shirou Emiya that you have hold of has connections with them as well... Nonetheless, I hope you understand that I don't hate you. I may have strong feelings towards Shirou Emiya in general... But I'll cast those feelings aside so long as he's not the same person I once was..."

"Heh. Almost makes you wanna try and murder your younger self right?" Senji joked.

"..." Archer stared at Senji with a blank look. His mind flashing back to when he slashed his younger self in the back and clashed their ideals. Betraying Rin and forming a contract with Caster and so forth.

Senji noticed Archer's blank expression and he can only gulp a bit.

"Y-you didn't try too uh..."

"No comment." Archer said with an amused look, snorting a bit as he reminisced a bit of the past. That's right, he would not harm Shirou Emiya. There's no need for that, he only wishes to stop any version of himself, he'll prevent them from making the same mistakes as he did... Even killing him would be but mercy than inventible becoming him.

-~-

His room remained but empty.

No decorations.

No furniture.

No equipment.

It's all but an empty room beside the singular bed that came with the room.

There's no reason for declarations or any other furniture and whatnot.

His time here is limited. Henceforth he doesn't find it meaningful to add anything to the room if it means he'll one day never return here. At most... If one he does get summoned again, it'll be when mankind is threatened once again. But who is to say that he'll be summoned by the same Ritsuka Fujimaru?

The universe is but infinite. And all possibilities are endless.

Hmm... Though if he did wish to decorate the room. It'd probably only be for when guests wish to come in or talk to him. It'd be rude to have nothing to offer them...

Though declarations can purely be easy at most. Simple projection magecraft can do the trick with making the room not look empty.

Hmm. Yes. It doesn't sound too bad. But then again, who is he kidding? It's not like he has any guests to please.

He sat down on his bed and can only rub his temples. For a while, he'll have some rest and stay locked up in his room... Vacation was but a headache, and all the familiar faces who now know who he is adding more salt to his wounds. Just release him from his suffering already.

In the end, he just hopes he won't receive any more horrible headaches. No more faces of the past...

Then again... Surely there's nobody else of his past who can appear... Right?

Flashes of a priest but smiling filled his mind.

Archer only shudders.

-~-

Word Count: 1,089