a/n:
"oh- pooping underrated, 1 billion percent underrated. pooping is my favorite part of the day, there was one day i pooped 8 times!? that was the best day of my life."
what's your favorite billie quote? drop it >
that's mine ^^ because of the proud smile she gave at the end :]
BILLIE M'FKING EILISH IS COMING TO AUS & NZ HOLY SHIT
billie eilish, november 8th
los angeles | CA
i stared at claudia as she kneeled down a few feet away from, swallowing thickly. "you can tell me, you know? i'm not one to judge, promise. i won't even tell your brother if you don't want, just between you and me." she said, trying to get to the bottom of what was going on.
"small,"
"small? what does that mean?" claudia asked, tilting her head slightly to the side. "billie small."
"hm. i'm afraid i don't know what that mean bil, could you maybe help me understand? or is that too hard for you?" she questioned softly. i looked down to my lap, a lot of thoughts racing around my brain.
should i tell her? she seems legit about keeping a secret, and maybe she could comfort me while lilou's gone?
what if she finds me disgusting? what if she'll never look at me the same way again?
but she said she wouldn't judge, and for pete's sake she saw the pacifier.
"billie a little," i blurted.
"you're a little? could you tell me what that is?" claudia asked. i quickly shook my head, anxiety tightening my chest, i shouldn't of even said anything! once she finds out she's gonna think i'm just a big baby.
tears pricked the corner of my eyes, i wanted to run, i wanted to get away. my breathing became shaky, it felt like an elephant was slowly sitting down on my chest. i jumped feeling a hand on my back, "sorry! didn't mean to scare you" claudia apologized quickly, "you don't have to tell me billie, it's alright."
"does this help you calm down?"
i stared at the pacifier that she picked up and was holding by the ring. "i don't care, i promise. if it helps you, it helps you" she said, in all sincereness.
i looked from the comfort item back to claudia's face, "no laugh?" i asked quietly, "no of course not, i won't laugh at you" claudia shook her head. i tentatively reached out my trembling hand and grabbed the lavender pacifier.
"it's a pretty color, did you choose it?"
i shook my head taking it, "mommy did." claudia paused, "mommy? as in like your mom, maggie?" she asked. my eyes widened, realizing what i had said. "i-i mean lou-lou, not mommy, silly billie" i giggled anxiously, playing with the pacifier.
"does anyone know you're a little? whatever that may be" claudia asked, changing the subject avoiding my embarrassment. "uhh, no. only lou-lou, an' you" i said shifting around on the floor so i was sitting on my knees more comfortably.
"oh wow, i can see why you don't want to tell me, it must be a pretty special secret"
i nodded, "is this something new, 'being small'? or have you been doing this for a while?"
"no old, i still scared, wan lou-lou back, she protec' me, keep me safe, she has go now billie allllll 'lone" i huffed, squirming around on my knees from her eye contact, "i'm here for you billie, and maybe if you feel brave enough you can tell me how i can keep you safe until lilou comes back?"
"cuddles?"
lilou roux <3
310-260-4716
hey b, how are you doing?
i'm really sorry i had to leave you like that
i feel really bad :\
mommy!
me miss you
i cryin and caudia found me
an she give me cuddles and i feel bedder
it otay
oh hey angel, i didn't think you'd still be small
that's okay though
i'm glad claudia's helping you
wanna tell me what's been happening baby?
oki
caudia saw me cryin and my paci on da floor but she no care
she says she no tell no one
not even finn!
she ask me bout wots of fings and i was sad coz u gone so she cuddle me
she make me safe till u come back
i likes caudia eveennnnn moreeeeee now
aweh, that's great baby!
she must really care about you huh
she's very understanding and non judgemental
i'll tell that brother of yours she's a keeper
i dunno wat dat mean but me thinks dat too
hehe oki
"watcha doin' there bil?" claudia asked. she had put on the movie lilou and i were watching earlier but she noticed i wasn't paying attention to the screen anymore. "talkin' to lou-lou, see?" i said, showing her our previous messages.
"ah i see, you guys are so cute" claudia smiled. i giggled, butterflies swarming around my tummy. little does claudia know, lilou's my girlfriend.
"why you not with finn?" i asked, the thought just hitting me. claudia had been in my room with me for a while. "he was working on a song, so i left him the man to it" she shrugged simply. i nodded yawning, letting my lips fall into a pout.
"tired?"
i hummed, lifting up a fist to rub my eye.
"okay, i'll leave you to go to sleep then, i don't wanna keep you up. you can come get me if you need though" claudia said shutting down my laptop. "oh otay, night night" i said as claudia walked out, picking up my phone again to text lilou.
"sleep well, billie"
lilou roux <3
310-260-4716
ni ni mommy
billie goin sleepy
wuv u!!!
calls u tamorrowwwww : D
*kissesssssss*
i be brave girl for u
YOU ARE READING
Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish
Fanfiction(My darling girl) Billie Eilish, an newly founded musical artist gets a message from a fan. She quickly finds herself off into the deep end when she realises she's falling the local parisenne, who has a secret that could change her life. ᵈⁱˢᶜˡᵃⁱᵐᵉ...
