PECULIAR (✓)

23. Wanting to Help

Cassius POV:

After a silent car ride, Alettra and I arrive at my home and we sit in the living room still in a stifling silence. Neither one of us speak but we keep sneaking glances at each other, wandering different things.

I can't help but worry as I look at her, she's much skinnier than before. She holds her hands in hers while shivering, most probably trying to combat the cold. I look at the thermostat on the wall and slyly put it up, hoping she doesn't see. I know she's quite prideful and won't ask for anything, let alone help.

Alettra still not directly looking at me suddenly questions, "Can you start from the beginning of this James' thing, please."

I nod tensely, "I work with the police undercover as James to try and gather evidence of the gang that killed my brother." She nods, gesturing to me to carry on with an expressionless look on her face.

She has been physically as well as emotionally distancing herself from me, I don't blame her though. I had hurt her.

I just hoped we could have eventually been us again, one day.

"Um, I learnt that my brother actually wanted to quit that night, and that the gang killed him to cover their problems. They forced him to get drunk, then pumped him full of drugs, so no one was less the wiser."

Alettra's head shoots up at me, "So it was a murder, Victor managed to look like a drug overdose, were there no other signs of force or a fight?"

I nod my head at her question, frowning at the fact she is somehow now connected to Victor. "I checked with the coroner again, Cyrus had marks on his arms but they didn't focus on it in the official documents because he had a history with drugs. The marks from the syringe weren't self-made."

She looks down with a troubled expression now, so now I begin to question her, "How did you end up at that club that night?"

"I'll have you now I'm a massive party animal, Cassius. I'm at parties all the time." I smirked at her attempt to lighten the situation, but I gave her a pointed look wanting the truth, and because we both know that's the furthest thing from the truth.

"Nicole invited me, we used to be close once upon a time, and Victor is her boyfriend." She still keeps looking at the ground and I just about pick up a faint whisper, "I wish I hadn't gone now."

So did I.

I sat a bit closer to her, every bone in my body wanting to comfort her. "Apparently, Victor and Nicole broke up, and now he wants to get a date with me." Alettra admits, while fidgeting with her pale hands.

That son of bit-

My head starts pounding due to the new information but also my lack of sleep getting to me. The one thing I didn't want to happen was Alettra getting involved, and now...

Alettra shifts closer to me, "Sweetheart, look at me please?", my head snapping to her in shock. She takes my hands in hers and strokes them slowly, looking deeply in my eyes. Her honey orbs calming every fibre of my body, while she smiles at me.

"I know you will say no Cass, but I think I can help, if I say yes to Vic-"

"No." I cut her off, not liking even his name coming out of her mouth let alone what I knew what she was going to ask.

"Cass please let me explain, it will be okay if-"

"Alettra, these are dangerous people, Victor is a murderer."

She shakes her head, silencing me. "Do you trust me, Cass?", I nod in response.

I do trust her, of course, I love her, but even the thought of losing her is driving me insane. Alettra looks at me, "I know you don't want me involved, but I already am. I could help your investigation, Victor was so close to seeing you and if he's as dangerous as we think, we need this to end."

I look down, knowing this brave beautiful girl would be ready for anything, she could do anything she put her mind to. I murmur softly, "It's my problem, Alettra."

She stands in front of me and peers up at me, and cradles my face in her cold petite hands. "It's you and me vs the World Cassius, we share things including problems." The light shining in her eyes full of trust, uplifts me. Nodding my head, I tell her we can do it together, take down Victor together.

"Do you have any problems you need help with Alettra?", trying to keep my tone light and kind, praying she would tell me.

The light in her eyes dim and she looks away, but before disappointment could fill me, she wraps her arms around me, shaking slightly. "I-I might have a p-problem, Cass..."

I lean my head down and peek the side of her head, silently encouraging her to carry on. "I don't like a lot of things about myself, mostly how I look. I don't feel like I deserve anything, but sometimes... a lot of the time... all the time...", she breaks off in a sob leaning into my chest. I blink away my tears, her admission breaking me.

Tightening my arms around her I try to tell her she doesn't need to carry on but she shakes her head still crying softly.

"I have to tell you, because you deserve to know the truth, you might not want to be with someone like me."

I sit us down making sure to keep my hold on her, "Alettra, nothing you say will change how I feel about you."

"I can't eat, I just can't do it... It hurts even thinking about eating, I don't deserve it, I'm too too..." she looks at her body frowning so I kiss her to silence her attempt to ridicule herself, and I also need it, we both need it.

The kiss is hard and intoxicating, unlike others we've shared. Like a man starving, I wrap my hands in her inky black hair and hold on to her, while showing my affection for her. She was so amazing, and the fact she was suffering so much broke me.

Breaking away with a sigh, I look at her... Who still has her eyes closed and a beautiful smile gracing her lips. It hurts knowing that for her to recover she will most probably have to suffer some more, but I will be there at every stage. "Alettra, would you be willing to go see someone for you to talk to and help you?"

She opens her eyes, and looks at me and asks, "You still want me?" I laugh at her question but stop when I see the sadness in her eyes, "Always, baby."

She nods, and says she'll meet Liz's mum and ask for guidance from her, making me smile. Like I said, a brave girl.

Most probably pushing her too far, I ask "Do you want something to eat?"

She shakes her head saying she wants to sleep more than anything, and being greedy I agree, wanting nothing more but to cuddle with her, so I pick her up like before, and with both of us giggling we make our way upstairs. I can see it in her eyes, she's as exhausted as I am, my nightmares not letting me rest, since our separation.

The reminder of my shortcomings haunting me, but only Alettra can protect me.