PECULIAR (✓)

44. Bonding

When I get discharged, Cass, Clara and I head home. The ride is mostly just both of us turning turns at looking at a sleeping Clara in the back. Her little chest moving up and down is the most comforting thing in the world.

We pass by Rosa's Cafe, and I think about Marie. Maybe I could visit her with Clara. I finally understood what she meant when she said it's like giving birth to your heart. If anything happened to Clara, I don't think I would be able to withstand a life without her. She's so extremely important to me.

To both Cassius and I, since she was a part of both of us.

We settled into our home, putting Clara in her nursery. Everything is a dark blue. When Cass was at work I quickly got the room set up, annoying him thoroughly. He did admit I did a good job. I painted a night sky, with a glowing moon on the wall and stars and comets scattered everywhere. Cass and I look down at Clara, smiling at her.

My mother was right, she does have a peaceful quality to her. Without warning Cass picks me up and carries me off to the bedroom, telling me I need rest.

Cassius tells me he's going downstairs to prepare us some food, while taking the baby monitor with him. When he's gone I sneak out back into my daughter's room. To my surprise her eyes are wide open and small legs are kicking in the crib. Her blue mesmerising orbs are hypnotising, and her arms are stretched out, beckoning me to hold her. I pick her up gently, and Clara places her small hand on my face while she stares at me. "Hi Clara," I murmured quietly.

I stroke her hand, noticing how it's a little cold. Was she cold? No, she's already well wrapped. What Cass said when we first met flashes through my mind and I speak it out loud, slightly laughing. "Cold hands, warm heart, baby," causing Clara to reward me with a gummy smile. She's so cute.

I go to the side and sit with her, humming while I rock her. I notice the baby monitor is disconnected, which I'm grateful for. Cass most probably saw me come into her room. Clara never stops gaping at me, making me smile. She hadn't seen me for almost two days. As her small, cold hand encloses my finger, I begin just talking to her. It's as if she hangs on my every word, just observing me.

"I will always love you, Clara. Nothing you do, or that ever happens will change that. You are brilliant no matter what happens."

I continue sheepishly, "I can't promise I'll be a mother you always like, but I promise I will never stop trying for you. You deserve the best, so I'm going to keep striving to be that for you, my precious girl."

Clara continues to beam at me, kicking her legs again. I hope she enjoys listening to me when I go on my historical tangents, as I look down at her I rant about whatever I could think of, how amazing her dad is, Marie, even the Trojan War. I look down to see she's drifted off again, but when I look up I see Cass leaning in the doorway smiling incandescently at us both, which I reflect back. I get up slowly and place her back in the crib and watch her in awe.

Cass walks up behind me hugging me from behind and does the same. We made that.

"I already ate, your plate is waiting for you downstairs." I nod numbly, it's just food, I've got this. I tell him to stay with Clara and make my way downstairs.

Our days are filled with peace and our nights spent fussing over Clara. It's amazing how much she sleeps, something Cass and I don't do. He calls her his sleepy princess.

Liz comes over with Nicholas and the interaction between the two babies is comical. Nic just stares at her wide eyed, while Clara glares at him. This makes Cass laugh heartily, reminding Clara to do her frowning action to every boy she meets. God help Cassius when she gets a boyfriend. Looking at her, even when she's frowning, she's stunning. Cassius is going to have his work cut out with her.

"Clara, your mother had the same glare as well, scaring all the men off." I mutter under my breath boldly, "Didn't drive you away through did it, it didn't even remotely frighten you away." Cassius wolfish grin grows as he continues, "Oh it did scare me, you terrified me Alettra. I was just the brave enough to endure it, and see the softest sweetest woman ever." I can't help but smile, because it was true. He stayed and was the one making an effort to be with me.

Liz looks at us, commenting on how Clara was the perfect mix of us. Liz is actually spellbound by her at times, wishing Nic could be as tranquil as Clara.

One day, while doing my work on my laptop, I hear a knock on the door. I rush to see who it is. Cass beats me to the door, and gives me a quick rundown before opening it to the most unexpected sight.

Apparently, since my mother and Cassius were 'best friends', they had each other's numbers. My mother had asked to see her granddaughter, and Cass gave her the address. The surprise was she also brought my father, who has a larger scowl on his face than usual.

We invite them in and Cass sets out the tea, and we sit in silence. A smile emerges on my mother's face, making her more gentle looking than usual, "When is Clara waking up?" I tell her in a bit, praying for her to wake up as the pressure could be off me.

"Clara, as in The Nutcracker?" My fathers voice stills me, I had rarely heard it. I nod not looking into his eyes. My father didn't like anything creative, he detested my ballet and my love for reading. Hobbies any other parents would have been thankful their child had, whereas my father thought it was all a waste of time.

"Weren't you Clara, when you did ballet when you were eight?" Both my mother and I look at him in shock. How did he remember that? I look at him shyly but nod, still staring at him. "I saw you, I was in the back." He pulls out a picture from his wallet and it's me. Ballerina me, with a pink tutu and in first position looking down. Cass looks at the photo, smiling. He tells me it's like seeing Clara grown up.

In the relaxing atmosphere, Clara's soft cries make Cass jump up and go to her. He is so adorable with her. I hear them come down, with a jumpy Clara in Cass' arms. Clara is dressed in a pretty light pink dress, and a bow on her head.

Yes, it was a lot, but I love dressing her up. She did too. When Clara sees my mother she practically jumps into her arms, giggling. My mother looks at her full of joy as she plays with her grandchild. Cass shows me the photo of me as a ballerina, and I can't help but admit, yeah she looks like me for sure, matching pink clothes and all.

I wait patiently for my father's reaction but he's motionless. My mother reluctantly passes Clara to my father and they both just look at each other. Suddenly, a bright smile snaps on my father's face and he cooed at Clara making her laugh.

Oh my God. Where is this coming from?

"Hello, you beautiful little girl. You're so precious, aren't you? Yes you are," he teases her while tickling her. My mother and I can't help but smile at grandfather and granddaughter, both in their own world.

Clara was magic, that's for sure.  

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