The Accident

Part 14

Carina was exhausted, the emotional drain just going downstairs to eat with Travis having taken a lot out of her. However, she just couldn't get her body to calm down enough to actually sleep.

She had stopped in her office when she and Travis went to eat lunch to grab a journal she kept there, deciding to do a little bit of writing while Maya slept. She carefully got out of bed, going to the chair next to Maya's bed, starting to write in her journal.

After Andrea had died, she had started keeping a journal just to process out what she was feeling and write him letters of things she wanted to tell him. She still would do this from time to time when big things happened in her life. The last thing she had written to him had been the day after they had gone to the fertility doctor the last time.

She smiled as she read what she had told him about how excited she was about the prospect of them having a baby, and that they were leaning towards Maya donating the eggs and that they had started looking at sperm donors. She started crying as she thought about how long it was going to be before they ever got back to that conversation if they ever did.

She wiped her eyes after a few minutes, chiding herself because there were so many bigger problems they were dealing with other than not having a baby right now. She turned to a new page in her journal, taking a deep breath before she tried to start writing, finding it almost impossible to put into words to her little brother how she was feeling.

She had no idea how long she had been staring at the paper, but suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Hey," Meredith said, walking in, "Amelia asked me to drop this off for you."

"Thank you," Carina said, getting up and taking the sweatshirt from Meredith.

"No problem," Meredith smiled, "How are things going?"

"She's awake," Carina said, "And she's doing pretty well. They are going to get her sitting up later today."

"That's awesome, Carina," Meredith smiled, "And how are you doing?"

"I'm feeling a little better," Carina said, "Being here with her is helping. It's all just hard. I've been trying to write to Andrea for the last...I don't even know how long, and I just can't figure out what to say."

"Trauma is hard," Meredith nodded, "And confusing. Just don't be too hard on yourself."

"Lo so," Carina said, rubbing her eyes, "It's just exhausting."

"I understand," Meredith said, "Make sure you are getting your rest. None of us want you to be a patient again."

"I am," Carina said, "I do not want to be back in the hospital any time soon."

"Car," they both heard a sleepy Maya said from behind them.

"I'll let you get back to her," Meredith said, "Let me know if either of you need anything."

"Grazie," Carina said, going back to the bed, "Bambina, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Maya said, eyes opening, "I think so. I feel...I don't know. Just bad I guess."

"Is something in particular feeling bad?" Carina asked, putting a hand to Maya's forehead, noting she didn't feel like she had a fever or anything.

"I'm just achy," Maya said, "And my stomach isn't feeling right. I don't know."

"Are you nauseous?" Carina asked, knowing that Maya had been complaining about her stomach off and on all day.

"I don't think so," Maya said, "Just kinda crampy maybe. I don't know."