The Accident

Part 38

Maya slept for about an hour which made Carina very happy because she knew the blonde was struggling a lot today because of the test she was having done. She also knew that the morning had already been extremely hard work for her wife.

Carina couldn't even describe how proud she was of Maya for being able to take a shower while standing up and then also that she didn't force her body past what it was capable of after.

At this point, Carina was thinking her wife was going to be released sooner rather than later. Other than her potential gastroparesis, Maya was doing incredibly well and nothing that was happening at the hospital couldn't happen on an outpatient basis. She wasn't going to say anything to anyone, especially her wife because she didn't want to have Maya be disappointed.

She did want to talk about it with her therapist though because she was almost 100% confident that she would not be seeing her therapist again before Maya was discharged. She knew being home was going to bring them a whole new bunch of problems.

Carina still really did not enjoy Maya being out of her sight for more than a few minutes at a time, and she would start to feel incredibly anxious and worried and just uncomfortable with it. As Maya was healing, it was getting better, but there were still moments where she was drawn back into her head, worrying that if she left for too long, Maya wouldn't be there when she got back.

Logically, she knew that was not going to happen, that Maya was just fine and healing incredibly well, but her brain didn't seem to care too much about that. She was feeling much better than she had been and she didn't think much about her wife dying while she was with her as she had right after the accident, but even just trying to go to lunch for 30 minutes still made her very anxious.

Once they went home, she was going to have to leave Maya to go to the grocery store or run other errands and eventually go to work. She had originally been thinking she would go back to work before Maya got discharged, and if it was more than a week, she probably would try, but if Maya went home sooner rather than later, she would probably wait.

She was thinking about her session today, wondering if it was possible for this to be her last session of the intense EMDR therapy to get the flashbacks and PTSD flare ups to stop. The last session had made a lot of it get significantly better, and while Carina knew her anxiety was going to require regular CBT for a while to get it fully under control, she was hoping that the EMDR could end sooner rather than later.

She looked at her journal that she had been writing in, deciding she was done with it for now. She carefully got up from the bed, going over to their bags. She found a few medical journals she had been working through taking them back over to the bed, sitting down next to her wife. Maya moved a little in her sleep, Carina gently smoothing her hair, shushing her back to sleep.

The blonde relaxed, Carina smiling as she watched her sleep. Maya didn't quite look peaceful, Carina knowing that even when she was asleep, the blonde was often having anxious dreams that kept her from sleeping well.

The Italian was very glad they had emailed Dr. Lewis because she could see Maya struggling mentally. The blonde had gotten so so much better at sharing how she was feeling with her wife, but Carina knew that it was still important for her to get professional help. Maya's relationship with Dr. Lewis was something Carina was extremely grateful for because even when her wife struggled to open up to her, she would almost always open up to Diane and while Carina always wanted to be the one Maya felt safe enough to turn to, she knew that was an unrealistic expectation.

Carina turned her attention to the medical journals, hoping those would help take her mind off her upcoming therapy appointment. She was ready to go and do it, but she was also nervous. She read her journal for a little while before the nurse came in with what Carina knew was the collection tube for Maya to breathe into.