Ego's Trap | ✔

60 | Warm, Welcoming, Bittersweet

☆☆☆ Chapter 60 ☆☆☆

Warm, Welcoming, Bittersweet

*Jade's Point of View (POV)*

The effects of the pain meds I'd taken earlier were wearing off── I was starting to feel some pain in my abdomen. It wasn't strong enough to stop me from my sprint, though, and even if it got to that point, I knew I could push myself to do what I needed to. Besides, I stuffed my jacket with all the pain meds it could take before I left the hospital. I could just take one right now... no, no distractions, I needed to keep myself on high alert until I was in a safe area, far enough from the hospital's grasp. Who knew when the nurses would learn of my absence. I didn't track their schedules or plan ahead all that much for my escape, after all. I'm a poor planner, and can't keep track of things that are not immediately in front of me. I only knew I had to get out of there by tonight and meet Roger at a designated place for his plan to work, but now that even that plan has been fucked over, I wasn't really sure of what to do. Roger wasn't going to be at the meeting spot anymore. He wasn't going to be anywhere anymore, save for his home. He was stuck there. All thanks to Daniel.

As the plan started to go in motion, Roger called Daniel, and what was meant to be a quick goodbye quickly became the wild card that destroyed it all── destroyed all that was pre-set, all that needed to happen for me to break away from the claws of those in the underworld that made me live under their code and Oath── Daniel put a big red target of undivided attention on Roger's back; he alerted the police of Roger, of him potentially being in danger and needing to be under surveillance for a couple of days, and by the time the police are done, I would already be admitted in a psych hospital hundreds and perhaps even thousands of miles away from where I need to be. Had I not run away, obviously.

A real pain in the ass, what Daniel did.

I have no power.

Maybe it was punishment from the world. Maybe I wasn't meant to break out. Maybe I was meant to be hunted down and killed by other creatures of Hell. Or maybe Roger couldn't take it anymore. Maybe he couldn't take watching out for me, having his living, breathing burden── the source of his pain── right beside him. I wouldn't blame him. Sure, he may not hate me, but it doesn't mean I don't cause him any pain. It's not like I deserved his kindness in the first place.

I've been too fortunate despite all I've done. Whether I minded or not— and I don't— if the world wanted to see me crumble and fail, that was perfectly fine. Because it made sense. Since when has a villain succeeded in a story of good versus evil?

My brick phone screeched in the sling bag I had over me. I immediately knew who it was. I surveyed the area around me and made sure the coast was clear before hiding behind a nearby tree to answer the call.

I was the first to speak. "Roger," I said. It had to be done so that he knew he could proceed with the important things. I was sure he wouldn't have said anything himself first so as not to have his voice recognized by anyone from his old world. Save for me.

"I did it, I have another plan," he blurted.

As he spoke of the plan, I imagined his pained dark eyes, their usual solemn glow. I couldn't match them with the tone, the attitude, of the voice over the phone. It was... different. The voice over the phone was lighter, more loose, whimsical. I can even say it had a hint of joy. The same thing had happened earlier, when he told me of what Daniel had done. It was the strangest thing. As if he were relieved by something. I thought it would go away for this second call of ours, but it didn't.

Before the brick rang again, I was convinced that he was doing it to mock me── after all, Roger put a lot of thought into everything he did; everything he did was for a logical reason. That's how I heard the Reaper worked, too── how it became one of the top reasons they were both admired and despised. It was no wonder I believed he might've been mocking me, finally showing his hate for me; glad that someone interfered, sneering at the person who indirectly tortured him, at the state the person was in; hated by everyone, dependent on him, now alone, soon to be hunted down. I even thought he would altogether not call again and leave me to my own devices. But no, he called for the second time, and here he was, talking through a new plan with me. So what was it for? Why did he sound that way── what did he want me to know?

"That's all, Jade," he said. "So yes, we can still do it, we'll just have to wait for all the attention to die out. Find somewhere to stay in the meantime. Another town, ideally."

"Wait?" What did he have in mind? What was he really waiting for── and whatever it could be, was it what he wanted me to know? "Why not now? What are we waiting for?"

"For me to be left alone," he sighed. Only then did he sound normal. "The police are literally outside my house, and they're here to stay. For a week tops. I told you." Silence followed, for a sole second. "I'll keep you up to date with any changes in the new plans, okay? See you── "

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

I slid my back down, to the ground, and licked my lips. " ...I really don't get it, I don't understand. I can't pick up on what you're trying to tell me. What do you want me to know?"

"Nothing more and nothing less than what I told you."

"But... " I swallowed down a pain med not just for the pain, but to also distract me from the sudden shame I felt. To have to ask something like this is a completely new low from me. Or rather, from Blossom? They were the one trained for implicit communication, right? Or was that something regular people just knew about? Either way, shame on me. "Are you... are you sneering at me?"

"What?" he gasped. "I... don't even know what to tell you."

"Is it because you hate me?"

"I don't." His response was loud and clear. I couldn't mistake or misunderstand it for anything else. It almost had me choke on the second pain med I swallowed. "How in the world did that even come to mind?"

My eyes burned. Blinks didn't make it go away. Neither did the pressing of my abdomen. In fact, it only made it worse. It was starting to rub off on my throat. "Why don't you hate me?"

"Because I care about you? I thought it was obvious?"

"So you, you really want to help me through this," I muttered. "Then why? Why do you sound so happy about not going today?"

"Happy?"

"Isn't that what you wanted me to know?"

"I'm. Happy. Happy," he mumbled. "Is that it? I'm... happy? Is that what I'm feeling?"

"Isn't... isn't that what you wanted me to know?"

"No," he replied. "I... I had no idea, sorry about that. You misunderstood. Not everything I do is calculated. I'm not the Endinator. I'm not a machine." A short silence followed, an uncomfortably comfortable one that let me wipe my eyes and feel the grass beneath me. One that was whisked away by Roger. "Daniel really threw me for a loop tonight. I called him but I... I didn't think he would do such a bold thing for me," he said. "I think... I think that's why I might be happy."

The very second he finished talking, everything clicked. I understood. "You want to help me, you always have, but... " We were never having sex. Never. "Roger, you don't want to go, do you?"

" ...I── "

A light, fast wave of the supposedly resting sun's heat passed over me. As it did so, I poked the dirt below the grass with a finger, then pressed into it. I wiggled it around and felt the moisture in the ground stick to me. It made the sweat droplets gliding down my back, my chest, feel slightly cooler.

The sun, or the moon, didn't stop looking down at me when I finally stopped messing with the dirt.

I forced myself to swallow. "Were you going to make yourself do it?"

Roger, the noble, self-sacrificing hero with a cape. Warm, welcoming, and weird.

Roger, the person who has been with me since the beginning of my journey, holding my hand, supporting me. Helping me become a better person, a better me. Willing to sacrifice himself over and over again.

Roger, the one who promised to stay with me every step of the way, to never leave me alone, to always watch over me no matter what.

"I can do this on my own. You've done enough. Seriously. Just── " I swallowed again. Did my best to not sniffle. "Just tell me what I have to do again and let me write it down so I don't mess up. I'll burn the instructions later, I swear."

This is where it ends.