Callies POV
It's been 2 days since Arizona died and I am not doing good
I can't fall asleep without her, I can't even go into our room, I have been staying in paisleys
The poor child doesn't even understand why her momma isn't there for bedtime, or in the morning for breakfast
She doesn't understand when we told her that her momma is in a better place, I mean she's 3, why would she
Arizona's parents haven't left, they have been staying in the guest room, and while I'm glad they are here and helping with paisley, I still don't even know what to think
All I think about all day is Arizona, and if we would have caught it earlier would she still be dead
Would we have had more time together?
Today's her funeral, thankfully we had all of this done before she died because I wouldn't have been able to do it.
"Mommy" paisley whines from her grandmothers arms and I take her into mine
She has her nini and part of me wants to do what Arizona always did, I mean we were making progress on it but, Arizona was right. She needs all the comfort she can get now
"What's wrong baby?" I ask and walk upstairs
"I want momma" she cries and I feel my eyes tear up again
"I know sweet girl, me too" I say and just let her cry against me
"Momma come home?" She ask and I feel tears on my cheeks
"No baby, momma can't come home. We're going to go say goodbye to momma and tell her we love her and that we will miss her okay?" I ask and she just cries
It must be very difficult being 3 and not understanding a word I was saying
After a little while I decided it was time to get her ready
Once she was dressed I did the same thing and she came into my room with something in her hand
"Help?" She ask and have gave me the necklace Arizona had given her
"Come here bug" I say and help her out the necklace on and we went downstairs
The ride to the funeral home was quiet, I sat in the backseat with paisley while Barbara and Daniel sat in the front
We were the first ones there but soon a lot of people arrived,
She really was loved by many
Paisley stayed in my arms the entire time with her nini in her mouth, she wouldn't even lift her head off my shoulder
People kept coming up to me and telling me how sorry they were,
After everyone left for the burial site me and paisley stayed behind
I didn't know at first if I wanted her to even be here, let alone see her dead mother
But, after thinking about it, I think she will be fine, and if not we will deal with it together
"You ready to say goodbye to momma?" I ask and she nods and I take a deep breath and walk up
"Hers sleeping?" She ask and I let out a shaky breath
"Kind of, but, momma can't wake up" I say
"Why not? Why momma not wake up?" She ask, Barbera and I have tried explaining to paisley but, she didn't understand
"Well... momma was really sick, " I say
"Momma not sick no more?" She ask
"No baby, mommas not sick anymore" I say and she nods and takes her nini out of her mouth and holds it down and drops it into the casket
"Momma take it now" she says and I turn around and see Barbara
"Can you take her?" I ask and she nods
Paisley cried but they walked out and I stayed with Arizona,
Paisley surprised me when she just got rid of her nini, we have more at home but for some reason I don't think she'll be wanting them
"I'm going to miss you.... So so much, god I can't believe you're gone. We didn't get to be together for long, I'm never going to forget how happy you made me, or how loved you made me. Or the way you made our daughter laugh" I smile while wiping tears
"I'm going to tell her stories, she's going to know who you were, and she's going to love you. I promise you that, I will never let her forget.... I love. You so much Arizona"
—-
2 years later
It's been 2 years since Arizona died
It was really really hard at first with paisley, she would wake up crying for Arizona because she's always done that
But at some point she stopped, I think she finally understood that Arizona wasn't coming home
After she left her nini with Arizona she never touched another one, she didn't even ask for one
She started school this year and loves it,
We definitely have a smart little girl
Paisley is also friends with Isa, she loves being around her and Aria really helped me the past two years
Currently Paisley and I were about to leave the hospital when a friend of mine stopped us
"Callie hey!" Eliza smiles
"Hey, what are you doing on this floor?" I ask since we were on the PEDS floor, I absolutely hated it, but the daycare was on the same floor
"Talking with a patient" she smiles
"You must be Paisley?" She ask and paisley nodded
"Your mommy's told me a lot about you" she says and paisley smiles
"That's a pretty necklace" Eliza says,
"My momma gave it to me" she says, she has worn that necklace every day since Arizona's funeral
"Really? Well it's beautiful" she says
"It has pictures. See?" She says and opens it up,
Showing the same two photos
One side me and Arizona and the other the three of us
"Your momma is very pretty" she says and paisley nods
"I miss her" she says and looks up to me and reaches out so I would pick her up
"Her mother is Arizona Robbins?" She ask in a whisper
"She's a legend at this hospital, best PEDS surgeon in the country" Eliza says and I smile
"Yea... she was amazing" I sigh
"I'm really sorry for your loss Callie" she says and I nod and paisley and I go home
We moved, not too long after Arizona died, I couldn't sleep in the same house anymore
I thought about moving us far away, the east coast sounded pretty good but, I couldn't take paisley from her grandparents
When we got home I got some things out so paisley could color
"Mommy?" She ask
"Yea bug?" I ask
"Momma died?" She ask and I frown,
"She did" I tell her
"Cause she was sick?" She ask again and I nod
"But... why couldn't the doctors fix her?" She ask
"Baby momma was really sick, and the doctors tried. But, she was too sick for it to help" I say and she nods
"Oh" she sighs and I go back to cooking dinner
I'm glad she is asking questions and isn't afraid to talk about it, I know some kids who go through losses won't even talk about it and just bottles it up, so yes, I'm glad mine isn't doing that
After dinner since it's Friday Paisley got into bed with me
Every other Friday she sleeps in my bed, it was her choice and I know she won't be little and want to forever
"What movie bug?" I ask her
"Moana!" She says happily and I smile and cut the movie on while she lays her head on my chest
While it sucks that we didn't get forever with Arizona, and I am no where even close to even thinking about moving on, I believe paisley and I will be okay, 2 years ago I wouldn't have been and it took a lot to get to where I am now
"I love you so Much Paisley" I tell her and kiss her head
"Love you too mommy!!"
Till our next adventure❤️
I really enjoyed writing this, I had the ending kind of planned before even starting
I don't know if I cried more this chapter or the last...
Give me your thoughts on this story! It's the only one I have written like this
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Thank you all for sticking with me, means a lot.
