Can't believe there's 8 chapters of these
Mild shipping warning again, sorry but it's non-controversial ships as always
Also happy new years to those celebrating it around the next couple of days, happy early Easter, and Ramadan to those who are celebrating as well. Woah southeast Asia is busy with festivities lately
I did a poll on Instagram in regards to if I should keep the swearing or remove them because I'm afraid I might disrespect some cultures, literally everyone wants to keep them so I'm keeping it. I won't make the swears directed to another character though, other than that enjoy this dumpster
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ASEAN: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything?
Brunei: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
ASEAN: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Brunei: But I heard a siren.
ASEAN: That was Malaysia.
Malaysia: I WAS WORRIED!!
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Phil: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Indo, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Phil:
Phil: fsh
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EU: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
UN: Okay.
EU: And make out during the scary parts.
UN: Th-
UN: The scary parts.
UN: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
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Indo: Do you think I'm ugly?
ASEAN: It's not about looks, Indone. What's valuable is on the inside...
Indo: Sean...
ASEAN: For example, someone's heart.
Indo: Aw... Stop it-
ASEAN: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.
Indo: Seriously, stop.
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Brunei: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Singapore: I wake up at 4:30 AM
Brunei:
Brunei: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
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Thailand, addressing the group: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Myanmar: But - that's just a trash can.
Thailand: It sure is!
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Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Phil, with Indo and Malay behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE??
Police: Yes...three.
Phil: Oh, my God... What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Phil: VIETNAM FUCKING FELL OFF!
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Cambodia: Vietnam, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!
Vietnam: Well of course I have.
Vietnam: Have you ever tried going mad without power?
Vietnam: It's boring.
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Hong Kong: They stole from me first!
Taiwan: Mhm.
Hong Kong: Stole my heart...
Singapore: It is still illegal to commit murder.
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Laos: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
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Myanmar: *Gently taps table*
Phil: *Taps back*
Timor Leste: What are they doing?
ASEAN: Morse code.
Myanmar: *Aggressively taps table*
Phil: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
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SAARC: EU isn't answering their phone
ASEAN: I'll call
AU: SAARC and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
EU: Hello?
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Singapore: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.
Myanmar, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof
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Australia: Where are your parents?
Timor Leste: What are parents?
Australia: That's just about the saddest thing I've ever heard.
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Thailand: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Malaysia: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Vietnam: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Laos: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Cambodia: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Indo:
Indo: I have emotional scars
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Phil: Are you reading fan fiction?
Singapore, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.
Phil: Oh, is it on Wattpad?
Singa: This is CNN.
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Thai: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Vietnam: Why can't we just have a normal dinner for once
YOU ARE READING
a countryhumans asean dumpster, sadly
RandomI'm tired to rewrite the description all you need to know that this is literally a book where I drabble over actual humanized countries mostly asean though [ENG; may include other languages] ✨
