user not found | b.e

thirty seven

by the time my shift rolls around the next day, ive made myself so sick with worry.

billie has some lessons today and im not sure whether I want to see her today or not.

im trying hard not to hide away and avoid all my problems and hesitate when I see her dodge in the parking lot.

when I see her talking with kai my whole body tenses.

I feel like im in physical pain.

kai glances at me and greets me and billie just walks away, not looking at me or kai.

this is awkward.

I can't do this.

ive had no sleep and im pretty sure im running a fever.

I can't stop shivering, my nose is running and my eyeballs hurt.

but i have to know what's going on with billie.

"wait!" I run and grab billies arm before she runs upstairs. "this isn't fair. I stayed up all night worrying. you need to tell me what's going on"

"can we not do this here?" billie looks around and I know finneas and kai are probably watching us but I don't care.

"where then? I texted, I called and nothing. how can I fix this when I don't know what's wrong?"

"I needed to think" billie looks at me in the eyes for the first time and she looks as bad as I feel.

she looks exhausted. "maybe you need to do some thinking too"

"think about what?" im so confused.

"look I just need some space, okay?"

"billie" someone drops something from behind me and I turn around, billie takes her chance to break free and run upstairs.

I watch her slam the door shut and sneeze again, reaching into my pocket for a tissue.

im a mess.

"absolutely not sage, you're sick. go home"

"im fine!"

"go home, call in tomorrow and let me know how you are"

no matter how hard I protest to finneas he won't let me argue.

im miserable and feverish and when no-one is home when I make it back so I crawl into bed.

I wake up a couple of hours later and my entire body aches and I cannot stay warm.

I call my grandma after I take my temperature and it's sky high.

she rushes home from wherever she came from and her drives me to the doctors who prescribes me a bunch of cold medicine.

on the second day of my illness, harry changes the sheets on my bed because ive sweared through them all.

my grandma spoon feeds me soup in bed and plays with my hair while im in and out of sleep.

she tires to get me out of bed but I stay in my bed, even after my fever is broken.

I watch a bunch of old movies and when I hear a song pirate introduced me too, it makes me feel so much worse than I already do.

kai has checked up on me by FaceTiming and texting to me a bunch of times.

finneas has been really understanding and apparently billie has been picking up extra shifts to help around.

but kai never breathes a word of her and I don't ask.

I don't think I can stomach hearing about her.