Baby Mama

Chapter 10

Beep. Beep. Beep. Alison groaned as the incessant noise filled her ears. "Make it stop," she tried to croak out, but her throat was so parched she could only let out a hoarse cough. She tried to open her eyes, but they were so heavy. Her eyelids twitched, as she used all of her strength to open them. When she finally mustered enough strength to open her eyes she was met with stark white decor, and a strong hospital smell that reminded her of death filled her nostrils. She tried to move her hands, but one of them was weighed down by a warm limb. She turned her head to face her companion, who was none other than Emily Fields the woman who owned her entire heart. She smiled softly, whatever the reason why she was in the hospital Emily had made sure that she was by her side. Just as Alison was starting to think sweet thoughts about her girl, the memories of the previous day started to flood back in. She remembered the pain, the fatigue and the blood. There was so much blood. She started to panic, what exactly did it all mean? The blood? The pain? What went wrong? Was her baby okay? She started to move, she needed answers and she needed them now. She flexed her hand, trying to wake the brunette beside her. After a few futile attempts, the blonde finally mustered enough strength to shove the sleeping brunette awake.

"Ali? Are you awake?" Emily asked nervously. She immediately signaled the on call button, and a nurse made her way in after a few seconds. The entire time, the nurse was in the room Alison kept asking questions.

"What happened to me? Why am I here? Is my baby okay?" The blonde rambled. She looked towards Emily for an explanation. "Em?"

"Ali," Emily began but she cut herself off. How was she supposed to tell Alison what happened? How was she supposed to tell her this awful news? She couldn't.

"I'll, uh get the doctor." Emily trailed off in a panic.

"No." Alison said forcefully. "I trust you, just tell me."

Emily breathed in deeply. She could do this. She had to do this.

"Ali, uh. You.. You, uh lost it." Emily explained vaguely.

"Lost what?" Ali began slightly confused. And then everything started to make sense; the blood, the pain, the hospital. She covered her mouth with her palm, trying to stop the sob that ripped through her soul. Her baby was dead, she would never have the chance to live or experience any of the good things that life had to offer. She didn't even have a chance.

"Why?" She choked out hysterically.

"Its not your fault, Ali." Emily pleas, her voice raw with emotion as she tries to desperately convince the blonde. "Your baby had chromosome abnormalities." She explains gently. "It just means that your genes and its father's didn't match up correctly, its very common."

"I killed her." Alison whispers brokenly. "I didn't want her, and she knew it." The blonde's tears start to stream faster down her face. "She's dead and I killed her."

Emily reached up and wiped the tears from the other woman's face.

"Its not your fault, Alison. The doctor said that fifty percent of miscarriages are because of mismatched chromosomes." Emily said soothingly. "There was nothing you could've done."

"I could have wanted her." Alison sobbed. "I could have never resented her, I could have loved her."

"You did love her," Emily pleaded. "The reason why you're upset is because you lost someone you loved."

"I didn't get the chance to love her." Alison spit out. "I was too busy wanting you."

Emily swallowed as she screwed her eyes shut. This is exactly what she didn't want to happen. She didn't want Alison to blame anyone for this tragedy, it was the work of nature. But of course, knowing Alison she had to pass the blame on someone. And if the blonde wasn't wallowing in self deprecation, she knew that she would be the next target.