Hiding The Alpha's Son

Chapter 5

I watched my son as he walked to the small table like a drunk man to put his empty feeding bottle down.

Yul is the best decision I ever made in my life. But I always regret attempting to expel him from within me. I regret that so much. I promise myself that I will do everything for Yul just so I can pay back what I did before.

When I found out I was pregnant, the first thing that came to my mind was Yul’s father, Magnus. I wondered if I would let him know or if I would hide it from him. Will he believe me if I say so? Will he accept it if he believes that he is the father? And at the end, I decided not to tell him. I decided to hide it.

Aya asked me to resign from my job, and I did. The doctor strictly told me not to stay awake late at night. I apologize. I resigned not because I was worried that it would affect the child. What was in my mind at that time was that if something happened to the child, Magnus would be mad at me.

Aya became our provider, and it made me restless and uncomfortable. I feel so useless because I'm the pregnant one. I'm the one who decided to continue the pregnancy and hide it from Magnus, but I'm not the one who keeps the two of us alive. I was disgusted because I couldn't do it. I can't even fed myself with my own money. I wondered then if I had made the right decision. It's true that I didn't let Magnus know I was pregnant, and I burned everything.

And because of all those thoughts and negative feelings, I can't eat well. I can't sleep either. I'm having a lot of fun in my head.possible scenarios that may happen in the future. Fear consumed me, not for myself but for the child, for Yul. And I ended up with the decision to remove the baby.

I was scared of my decision, but I did everything just to lose the baby. I did not sleep, I ate everything taboo, I stressed myself. I also drank alcohol. But the boy's grip was strong. Yul is strong. Even though I got sick, he didn't disappear inside me.

And then it dawned on me.Yul is for me. Yul is a gift for me. A gift that I don't even want is really for me. I regret everything I have done. Fear lived in my chest while he was still inside my womb. I was so scared that maybe because of what I was going to do, something bad would happen to her. I'm afraid he might have a disability. That something in her body might be missing.

But all of it washed away when I gave birth to Yul. He's healthy and complete, and he's a dominant alpha like his other dad. They look very much like Magnus. Aya said, "It's just a fool to say that he's not Magnus' child."

"Mama, yabyu." "Yul yab mama. "

My thoughts on the past were interrupted when Yul kissed me on the cheek. He had already climbed onto our bed without me noticing. "Love you too, baby." I picked him up and settled him on my top. This is his favorite position if he is sleepy. He always wants to lie on top of me. He likes listening to my heartbeat. He said, "There seems to be music in my chest."

"You are not sleepy." Yul pushed himself up and sat beside me.

"Why?" I asked curiously. 

"You want papa."

I was surprised by what my son said. His face was so serious and he looked straight into my eyes when he said those words. 

"Why?" I got up and sat down.

"I want one happy family."