(Funni oneshot where the hotel is in Britain and Figure's British. The hotel's in some rich part of the country, somewhere in London. Then they eat crumpets or something, I don't know. It would've been funnier to make roadman Figure, but I thought posh would work better because of the hotel and all.)
(So, no Figure threatening to shank anyone :c)
(Y/n) had travelled across the world just to access this hotel in the UK that supposedly had entities in it. The idea of something inhuman was horrifying, yet so thrilling. It would be so exciting to finally see...
...an eight foot tall humanoid figure with a mouth for a face reading a book in braille..?
They'd spent thousands to get over to the UK, just to see a creature act like a human.
The moment to the opened, its head snapped up as if to 'look' at them. Slamming it's book closed, it set it aside,"Who are you?"
"Uh, (Y/n)." They stated, bluntly, as there was nothing else to add.
"Hmm, I've never heard that name before. You haven't visited us before, have you?" The creature replied in perfect English, having quite a thick, posh accent.
It's pronunciation and accent made (Y/n) believe it had been communicated with before, or brought up around humans in the country. Though it didn't make much sense, it was the most logical explanation they had for it.
"Uh, I don't mean to sound provocative or needy, but do you know where there's any food? Have you, by chance, possibly found a kitchen on your travels?" It asked them, trying to sound as polite as possible.
"No, I haven't." They told it, so utterly lost as to how it can speak and why it's not actively trying to kill them,"What do you need the kitchen for? And, more importantly, why me?"
"I'm blind. Guiding Light got us some crumpets in, and I can't operate a toaster on my own. I need guidance or someone else to do it for me." It admitted, a little nod to signify it.
Confuzzled, (Y/n) reluctantly nodded their head in return, not that it could see the motion,"Right...so you're not going to kill me?"
"Bloody hell, why does everyone who enters ask me that? No, I'm not going to kill you! Why would I want to?" It lashed out, banging a fist on the coffee table besides the chair.
Staring through narrowed eyes, (Y/n) found it's argument logical; it seemed like an average library-loving entity that lived in a hotel in the corner of London. That made sense, somewhat.
"Is it possible you could maybe find the kitchen and bring me something? I've not eaten in a while, and I can't tell the time because there's no clocks in the library to feel." It tells them, nodding it's head again.
Glaring at it, they asked,"So, uh, you want some crumpets? That's all?"
"Yeah, that sounds pretty good." It smiles, its circular mouth curving up at the corners,"Thank you."
Exiting the library they scavenged the place for a kitchen. They came across several dead ends and, eventually, a kitchen.
In one of the cupboards on the walls, they came across a packet of crumpets. They remembered that it had never specified how many crumpets to bring, so they did four, buttering them after toasting them.
"How is there food in this place? Shouldn't it be, I don't know...abandoned?" (Y/n) mused, a valid question to ask.
Then again, that 'Guiding Light' that was previously mentioned could be supplying them with food. The question was if Guiding Light was a literal term, and it was an entity alike to the rest, or a metaphor for a human who cared enough to supply them food.
Plating up the crumpets, they brought them back through into the library.
It was still sat there, laid back a bit with its head tilted upwards.
"Uh, I brought the crumpets. You never told me how many, so-"
"No, that's good, thank you." It hastily added in,"Take a seat."
Gesturing them over to the sitting area, which consisted of two chairs and a coffee table. As instructed, they took a seat besides the entity.
"Let's split them; you have half of whatever you brought and I have half." It said with a slight smile.
"I brought four." (Y/n) told it, setting down the plate on the coffee table,"Also, do you have a name, or...?"
Picking up a crumpet, it introduced itself,"I don't have an official name but people call me 'The Figure'. They say it's fitting for a bloke of my stature."
"I can see why. You are quite the figure, you know?" (Y/n) grinned, looking up at him; even sat down, he was a hunky behemoth.
"No, I don't know. I've never seen why, nor have I ever seen...well, anything." Figure shrugged, putting the crumpet into its mouth.
Sinking it's teeth into the buttery snack, Figure winced. Slowly, it devoured the crumpet ravenously.
(Y/n) was much slower, more reluctant, to eat it; they didn't know who had given the crumpets to the entities in the first place. If they got poisoned, at least they got to meet an entity.
"Mm, that's banging!" Figure exclaimed, losing the characteristic formality for a moment.
"...'Banging'? You do realise what that means, right?" (Y/n) questioned.
Mumbling a yes, Figure told them,"It means it's good, and it is."
"Oh, it means something else from where I'm from, but if you say so." (Y/n) muttered, a bit irritated with themself.
As they sunk their teeth into the crumpet. It was quite a nice little treat, but it could easily trigger someone with tripophobia with its pattern on the top.
"So, are we friends now?" Figure asked them, a bit expectantly.
"Friends?" (Y/n) repeated, a bit shook by the fact this entity wanted to be friends with it.
Figure gave a hum of confirmation,"Yes, friends. Are we friends? What's your name, even? I told you mine, but you never told me yours."
It's overly chattiness came from its fear of abandonment. It didn't want (Y/n) to walk out like everyone else did.
"Oh, I'm (Y/n). Sure, I'll be your friend." They confirmed, and Figure made a little squeak.
Throwing its arms around (Y/n), it swung from side to side as it silently cried out in joy,"Finally, finally!"
It was...nice. Nice to be held so close, so tight and so lovingly. This was the most genuine and heartfelt moment that they had ever experienced, and it was with an entity they'd just met.
But, it was nice.
