Don't Write Me Notes || Levi x Reader

19. fake weddings are better than fake dates

"So," Hange announces, pressing the tips of their fingers to their forehead. "Let me get this straight."

"Dear god," Levi mutters, head tipping up to glare at the ceiling.

"You fake dated for the holidays."

"I don't think that was ever in question," Erwin murmurs, lacing his fingers together.

"But you two liked each other so much," Hange continues, pointing between you and Levi, "that you started to actually date. But, because you hate me, you decided not to tell me-"

"Jumping to conclusions, Hange," Erwin interrupts.

"Jumping," you agree. 

"Jumping on a damn trampoline," Levi grumbles.

Hange sighs theatrically and continues with a dramatic wave of their hands. "So, whatever, you're dating. We have to find out by Angel having a damn near emotional breakdown-"

"Oh, come on," you complain.

"We?" Erwin questions.

"I," Hange corrects loudly, and Erwin nods in approval. "I still hate you both for that."

"Shame," Levi grumbles.

"Regardless! Why can't you folk let me finish." They rise up to their feet- they'd been sitting in a chair in the corner of the room- and announce, "and so now you two are getting fake married because it's the obvious next step in your weirdly convoluted relationship!" 

Levi sighs next to you. You glance at him, smiling weakly, and he gets out, "try again, Hange."

Hange calms down. "You're getting fake married so that your mother can see you get married before..."

"Mhm," you hum in assent, nodding on Levi's behalf.

"And you want our help," Erwin adds.

You nod again. Levi's rubbing his forehead like he has a migraine. "It, uh..." Levi's not speaking, so you try to step up. "It would mean a lot to his mom. Plus, she thinks we've been together a lot longer than we actually have, you know," you add, glancing back to your boyfriend, "since the story she knows is the fake-dating one."

Hange snaps their fingers. "That's true. I never thought about that."

"I can officiate," Erwin supplies. "Obviously, I'm not ordained, but I know how it works. I can be convincing."

He could've told you that he was ordained and you would've believed him, so yeah, you agree that he's convincing. "Okay, that would be..." Levi's nodding along. Okay, good. "That would be great," you say, looking back to Erwin. "Thank you. But we don't want to inconvenience you-"

He waves you off. "Nonsense. This will be fun."

Fun. You like his optimism, because he's right- this could be fun. The situation itself obviously isn't- the why behind you and Levi doing this in the first place- but doing a little mock wedding doesn't sound like an awful idea. 

You glance at Levi. His face is as neutral as always, but you can tell that he's tense. Should you grab his hand, even though you're in front of your friends? You feel like you should.

"Oh my god, my blog is going to adore this."

"No," you and Levi snap in unison.

Hange's jaw drops. "Oh, come on! I gained so many followers when I told them some of my friends were fake dating for the holidays. Fake marriage?! They'll lose their minds."

"I'll kill you."

"How much have you told your... fans?" you ask, glancing from Levi, who's massaging his forehead with his fingertips, to Hange.