TOUCH

Chapter 12

ZANDER'S JOURNAL

It has been days since I last talked to her.

The practice matches and bettings had me all worked up and busy as shit. All these suckers trying to get a place in the team...well few of them are good. Like that Noah guy, Aurelia hangs out with. He plays decent football.

When I went to the field I saw her packing her stuff, looking like poetry. If you ask me , she actually is poetry for me. After all I keep on filling pages after pages of this journal with thoughts of her. My therapist must think I have gone crazy.

Someone must have told her about the match cause she looked in hurry to get out of there.

Part of me wanted her to get out as well. She was standing in the front rows. What if somebody kicked the ball at her and she ends up kissing him?

Well that's not going to happen, the way she is , she will probably end up punching the lad. This thought was amusing enough for me to daydream.

Another part, a slightly bigger one wanted her to cheer for me. I wondered how that would feel. My heart would fail from the strange anticipation.

I went by her side and asked her if she was staying but she packed her things and tried to get out.

She failed because I saw her after few minutes next to Lee.

I started pumping myself up to play well on field but there was a diminution in the value that match held for me when Matt entered. My entire focus shifted on the stands. I hoped she somehow managed to avoid the ball.

Matt was notoriously known for sending the ball to the stands to kiss any and every girl.

The first time the ball was kicked towards Aura, my heart sank. Later it did a mini celebration when I realized she ducked breaking the face of the girl behind her.

I thought it was over but Matt took an offense of her avoiding the ball and started aggressively kicking it out in her direction. I did ask Theo and others from my team to not let him have the ball in the first place but when it came to the game that fucker was good.

Aura managed to avoid every ball but I could see her patience starting to wear thin ; and so did the patience of the girls in the crowd and the boys on the field.

I saw Matt kiss a new girl each time so I realized they probably have made a deal with Aura to stand behind her or next to her but since Matt's idiosyncrasies robbed the players off of their opportunities to makeout, they were pissed.

When a guy yelled at her to makeout with Matt and end their misery, she lost it. She yelled at Matt first and before I could hear what she said to him, I realized she was yelling at me.

She told me if I was gonna let him do all that. It was a question but her voice was demanding. There was a hint of a lot of things. A hint that among all the players, Noah included, she was most familiar to me. A sense of belonging that if I was gonna witness him do something to her. And a trace of authority, the authority she has had on me since the day I met her.

Her words was motivation enough for me. I told Theo that we were actually going to play now and my man understood the assignment.

The happiness that floated her face was something I would never forget for a long long time. Usually she wore a poker face but her reaction to Theo's and my goals flooded her with euphoria.

Boy had I known she was capable of such emotions, I would have kicked Matt's ass to the goalpost.

The opposite happened. Matt manhandled me and I surely didn't see it coming. "For a girl" was what he said in a manner of accusation. Damn right for a girl!

I also gave him one back across his face. If it wasn't for Dylan and Theo I would have seriously hurt him. He kept on eyeing Aura and I knew I can't risk it with her taking the bus anymore. Matt has proven to seek revenge in the past.

Before I asked her to come with me I prepared a whole speech to convince her. I thought of telling her how she will hurt my mum's feelings or how Matt might do something. But to my surprise she agreed instantly when I asked her.

She told me she was scared of Matt and I didn't like the sound of it. I didn't want her to be scared of anyone. After all she was the same girl who bruised me when I met her.

I assured her that nothing was going to happen but she didn't seem convinced.

She asked me about my car and I told her I changed it. She looked thoughtfully for a second and told me that she could open the doors of this one.

Despite all her efforts of appearing to be tough and unfazed, it is in these moments, when she forgets to pretend, when she thinks that nobody is noticing, that the child buried in her is unveiled.

Even I deserve some appreciation today. It has been the first time since Matt and I contrived this stupid tradition of kissing the girl if the ball hit her. It worked in our favor because they wanted to be kissed. We enjoyed the cat fights in the stand for the perfect seats and we broke a few relationships as well. Little did I know that it would come to bite me like this.

A sudden brush of my hand on her thighs caused her to slid away and I jerked my hand away as well. I wonder why she reacted like that. It's not like I was going to hurt her.

Instead of questioning her I decided to apologize and keep quiet. After all she agreed to come with me without protesting. I knew better than to push her buttons.

Some other day maybe.

Inside the car , her sitting next to me looking at the clouds distracted, its a different kind of intimacy. Something that I haven't experienced before. I didn't know if she was aware that I was looking at her.

May be she isn't. May be she is aware but she is allowing me to have this moment.  This solitary minute of simply looking at her being human. Or may be she is just avoiding me, avoiding to look back at me the way that I am looking at her. Whatever this is , I'm grateful for all of it.

Seemingly concerned about the change of the route she asked me about it but was relieved when I pulled in front of the store . When I came back with the cigarette she refused to let me smoke and threatened me to puke all over my car. It's an old fucking Mercedes but still I wouldn't want vomit all over it.

Matt was still messing with my mind, so when we stopped in front of her house I tried to negotiate with her asking her to go to college with me. Still full of indignation, she asked me not to smoke in the car and I happily obliged.

A game won, a company to have while going to college and phone number of the girl that is clouding my mind these days. It was a good day.