From afar - Seungjin

Chapter 10 - "What the hell Hyunjin?"

I close the closet doors behind me, breathing heavy from trying to hold back the tears and from running through the halls. Not to mention the tight feeling that had taken over in my chest region.

I was relived when I found a secluded janitors closet, thought I had no idea what was inside, it was good enough to be alone in.

As soon as the door clicks, I slowly fall to my knees with my back sliding against the door. I press my hands to my eyes as shaky sobs escape my lips. Sobs I couldn't hold in any longer.

I always thought that Seungmin was going to find a girlfriend one day.

I knew he would.

Who wouldn't love somebody so gentle, smart, and perfect. Someone who's beauty takes my breadth away. I had always prepared myself knowing he would have somebody one day.

Somebody who wasn't me.

I thought I was okay with seeing that.

But the way that girl hugged him. Calling him 'babe', on Valentine's Day too. It was heartbreaking.

I should be happy for him. Right?

I let myself hit the ground as my knees tuck into my chest. Tears fall uncontrollably from my eyes as I muffle the sobs with my hands. It still hurt. So so so bad.

I'm so pathetic.

I got too ahead of myself planning this whole surprise when he already belonged to somebdoy. I got the wrong idea. He probably thinks I'm just pathetic.

The tears flow harder as I hit my forehead muttering, "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." To myself. This day started off so well, only for it to go so terribly wrong. Just my luck huh?

Every year was always the same, I should've known it was going to be any different this time. Seungmin deserved someone who he liked back. It's okay if that isn't me, right?

I bury my face deeper into my knees as I let the emotions encapsulate me.

After a few minutes, I could feel the tears slow as I began to regain control of my body and breathing. I sat there, on the concrete floor of the janitors closet, too scared to go back to class after seeing my crushes girlfriend.

But the thought of what was next lingered in my mind.

I had always liked seungmin from afar, but finally being able to talk to him and be around him was addicting. I hadn't even realized how happy these past weeks have been.

The real question was how was I going to live without seungmin?

My inspiration, my idol since forever, even though I was a bit older than him. He was always my motivation to go to school, to see him in the hallways. It's almost like he brought me so much without knowing it.

But I couldn't keep that up.

I had to let go

of seungmin.

My own sniffle brings me back to reality as I realize that fresh tears were slipping down my cheeks once more.

****
3rd person pov

*hanster posted a picture*

Love you @leeknows
Gonna ride this pony like I ride y-
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TOP 3 VALENTINES THIS YEAR⁉️

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A PONY?!

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I wish my boyfriend was Minho...